Hey friends...
Sorry for my lack of posting recently. DTube seems to be encountering some errors for me... so my main form of media delivery is essentially out, which is a bummer. I've got some content all made and lined up but no way to get it to you. Let's hope the issue is solved soon!
Anyway, I've also not been posting due to some extreme burnout of my entire being. I've been busy as hell for the past month, with no real days of rest, and as a (albeit recovering) sufferer of depression, it's sometimes so exhausting to be up and about every day, and not have chunks of days or even weeks of just doing nothing.
But it's healthier now - I'm no longer near comatose in my waking life. Don't get me wrong; I'm happy to be busy, and I'm happy that I'm happy being busy. But the exhaustion has set in now that I have a bit of a break.
Maybe some day my body and brain will be used to being busy, but when you were essentially a living zombie for most of your life, having long periods of time of life and activity can be so very draining. And to top it all off, if you're not careful about how you think about your situation, the feeling of taking a break after being busy for a long period of time can feel dangerously close to how the beginning of a depressive episode can feel.
Depression - even when it is essentially not a big factor in your life any more - is always going to be a struggle. I've been as "cured" as someone can get, but it's the little things that you still have to do - like reminding yourself that feeling tired doesn't mean you're going back to a bad place. It might just mean you need to sleep.
This is all very rambling and didn't go anywhere. But still, I felt the need to get something posted after my silence!
Peace, love, and nerd shit x
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I can definitely relate to this. As someone who needs several naps a day (mild case of narcolepsy) it can get to be such a drag lying on the couch so often. But once you accept the biology you have it's easier to roll with it.
Glad to hear you're hanging in there!
Thank you! And yeah, knowing that it's just a natural body thing is kind of a relief. It's just reminding myself that it's not the same feeling as the Depression Sleep(TM)