As 2017 drew to a close, so did a profound chapter in the life of my family, with the passing of my Mum on 27 December 2017 at age 84, with complications from advanced dementia.
Because as a society in Australia, we have less compassion for human suffering than we do for animal suffering, it took 3 long days for her to pass, while either I, my father (her husband of 63 years and partner of 70 years) or one of her 3 grandchildren sat with her, calmed her and held her hand.
Of course we kept her as comfortable as possible until she finally succumbed while alone with Dad holding her hand and stroking her hair. As it should have been.
Thinking back on Mum's early life I recall her telling me that as a young school girl she was evacuated from Sydney to Katoomba during WWII, after Japanese mini subs entered Sydney harbour.
My Mum Yvonne (2 yrs) with her parents Amelia and Victor Billington circa 1935, Sydney, Australia
After the war, she graduated Hornsby Girls High School and was granted a place at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music. However, her family were against further study and thought she should have a trade so she could earn a living, so she became a tailoress.
Post war there was high demand for hand beaded evening gowns for Sydney socialites and theatre costumes, so Mum's trade was in high demand. Ultimately she specialised in hand beading evening dresses, evening bags and even evening shoes.
Around 1947 my Dad who had left home in the ‘bush’ and moved to the ‘big smoke’ (aka Sydney), rented a room in Mum’s home from her parents and that was how they met. They started attending local dances together and after 7 years of dating, including a long engagement, once Mum turned 21 she was permitted to marry my dad.
On reflecting on her married life it occurs to me that Mum was a working mother long before it became ‘a thing’. In the early 1960s she would drop me off the Wharoonga Preparatory School for Young Ladies before heading off to work with Dad, they had adjoining businesses.
Then when they purchased hospitality properties she worked full-time in that industry. While we always lived on site at those properties Mum always worked long hours.
Much, much later when I had grown up, married, separated and decided to head off to university despite having three young children of my own (long before you could do uni online), it was Mum’s keeping the house clean, doing the laundry, the shopping and cooking dinner every night that made it possible for me to get my degrees and have a new career.
As our whole family gathered this week (all 20 of us) to have a gathering to celebrate the Christmas we missed and Mum’s life, it was not lost on me that had she not had 1 child, and I had not had 3 children there would not be 12 grandchildren.
So in the years to come when those 12 grandchildren grow and have families of their own, my working Mum who never went to uni, has started quite a legacy.
In loving memory... Yvonne Kleinig 1933 - 2017
Beautiful Mum!! She was one of a kind and without her I wouldn’t be here and neither would my 6 beautiful children, she really did start a legacy!!
Thanks love. Yes I don't think she ever imagined she would have 12 great grandchildren.
Hugs to you and the whole family. I'll be giving you a call. Promise.
Thanks A and for all your messages. Phone is charged, tissue box refilled ;-) OMG it's the 90s all over again...
That was beautiful mum, you made me all teary again - she really did have quite an amazing life and she achieved a miracle by bringing us together at Christmas for the first time in years.
She will be greatly missed, love to pop and speak soon xoxo
Thanks so much Krystle :-) I wrote a number of different versions and decided ultimately I just had to pick one and go with it, so I could move on. Love to you all from Pop and I.
thank you for your personal story @aussiesteem. I always feel too cautious and guarded to post such intimate details of my family life...Maybe I am wrong. You've got courage!
Thanks for your comments sagesonvacation... It didn't occur to me not to comment on this, I suppose I find it cathartic, or maybe I just have limited boundaries. There is no wrong or right, just what is right for you.
I have just read your poignant and heartfelt post @aussiesteem about the passing of your dear mother. The occasion itself was and is sad, but your emotions are real and I'd much rather read about raw passion and lovely tributes such as this about a loved one, than all the fake and insensitive stuff flooding the media. And you are quite right, doing so is very cathartic. I pray that you will continue to cherish those wonderful memories as you heal from you loss. I'm an Aussie girl myself (Brisbane) and I hope you are not sweltering too much in this summer heat. All the very best, Trudee.
Thanks so much Trudee, your comments are greatly appreciated. Yep, sweltering a bit on the Sunny Coast but that's the price we pay for living in paradise, not that we aren't going to whinge about it a bit lol.
You're welcome aussiesteem. So true. I was born in N.Z. and have lived in Australia for 29 years but the summer months are still very challenging. I'd rather be here than Sydney at the moment.
True, I'm sure they're all planning a move to Wellington.
Absolutely. Nothing like a bit of 'Windy Wellington' to blow the cobwebs out of your hair.
What a cool and heartfelt story. I felt like a took a glimpse into somebody else's life, across the ocean, across the years separating us. I am very sorry for your loss, but - being a mom of 3 kids myself - I believe there is no better way to head over to the next plane than being surrounded by your legacy. Sending you lots of positive vibes and love!
Thanks so much bellydancegirl, greatly appreciated. Having all Mum's family (and some adopted family that I didn't mention in the post) with her those last 3 days was very important to us, we can only hope she felt the love in the room with her.
I know she did!
I'm sadden to read this blog and I know how difficult it is losing someone you truly love my deepest condolences to you and to your family.
Thanks so much purepinay, much appreciated.
I am truly sorry for your loss............ billytwohearts
Thanks billytwohearts, greatly appreciated.
Happy new year may you liive long with your family
Thank you!
a happy family photo.
Thank you.