Good article, thanks for sharing your experience and insight. I take exception with the distinction between “rules that don’t make sense” and “the law” since we have a responsibility to act morally in all circumstances including when confronted with immoral laws.
I think what would round out the perpective offered here would be a clear definition of rights and morality. This would guide the variations in responses you describe (the “there’s no one model” theory).
You highlighted “lying to yourself” aka denial as a major problem, and indeed, it is truly the root of all evil. Man-made suffering in all its forms can be traced back to denial of reality - usually denial of inherent self-worth and self-ownership, and that of others.
If you have time, take a look at the following article; it’s highly relevant to this discussion:
Language, Euphemism, and Distorted Definitions
Way t’ be, jrray! I look forward to reading more from you!