Boring people are talking too much...this is my response!

[beardedgentleman]

Asocial people are terribly unlucky because there are so many people in the world, and besides being so many, they even open their mouths. Shitting out sound frequencies that are transformed into language, and then into a series of phrases that asocial people can’t stand any longer.

1. It always looks like that you are bored.
   Looks like?

2. Do we go on vacation together?
   Ok, but in two different places.

3. Come out tonight, it's Saturday.
   I have to wash the dog that I don’t have.

4. Do we meet for an aperitif before dinner?
   Sorry, I quit drinking.

5. If you go keep be like that you'll just be alone.
   That’s my goal stupid thinking ameba.

6. What do you do New Year's Eve?
   I am Chinese.

7. (SMS) Why don’t you ever answer the phone?
   They stole it.

8. Hello, do you need anything or just looking?
   I need you to call me Sir.

9. Can I hug you?
   If you want you can hold this golden poison arrow frog.

10. How do I look for you on Facebook?
    John Doe.

1. Do not be the asocial one.
   Shoot yourself.

2. I invited a couple of friends to dinner.
   Did you tell them I contracted the Ebola?

3. Can I talk to you? I need someone.
   What don’t you put your head in a pillow and scream until you permanently injure your throat?

4. Can you give me your phone number?
   I'm trying to avoid to get a brain tumor, so I don't have one.

5. I'll add you to the WhatsApp group.
   I’ll add you to the list of people to kneecap.

6. Come on come, I can guarantee you that you gonna have fun.
   I even got bored at the Rio Carnival.

7. Could you give me a lift back home?
   Ever heard of serial killer?

8. Do you want me to introduce you to a friend of mine?
   Only if you call it a sofa.

9. You will never find someone willing to be with you with this attitude.
   My cat and I are very happy.

10. Hello how are you? It's been a while since we talked last time. Listen, I was thinking of arranging a pizza with the old classmates, you coming?
    Maybe nobody told you but two years ago I died, I'm sorry.

Comments

[dharmavir]

+1 for Dr House.! House, MD was one of my favorite show. I will miss him.

[guyfawkes4-20]

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[beardedgentleman]

wow nice :) thanks @guyfawkes4-20

[dandesign86]

Definitely had a few good laughs from this post ! Haha nice humor !