What style of clothes to work in a male team?
The style of working clothes is better to choose a business, no extravagant outfits, expensive and defiant decorations. If, at the first appearance at work, your outfit can really attract everyone's attention, still it will not continue all the time, even if you start changing your dresses several times during the working day. Men are passionate about work, they will not pay attention to such trifles, gradually adapting to the variety of your outfits. Therefore, no pretentious extravagant and exclusive dresses at work should not be. Quite strange looks a lady in a long evening dress or, conversely, an ultra-short skirt against the background of men in business suits. Try changing your wardrobe so that in your outfit necessarily there were some individual elements of men's clothing - a jacket, trousers, vest. Business style, relevant in the office, and similarity to men in small things will serve you well. For example, a tie in the mind and even the subconscious of a man is a phallic symbol. And if you are not ready to wear a man's tie, the neck scarf is its analog, a symbol of your business equality.
Seeking to establish themselves in a male team, a woman can sometimes believe that she will be able to achieve the goal in a typically feminine way. She flirts a little, shoots her eyes, and all her colleagues will certainly rush to take care of her and, perhaps, will offer her hand and heart. This probably happens, but much more often it's quite the opposite.
Do not think that men do not have gray matter between their ears. They already on the first day of your admission to the service discussed all your merits. But giving signs of attention on the service of men, especially if it is not one person, a smart woman should be seen as a provocation or test. Men are by nature cautious. If there is anything to notice, they have already noticed it. Now they are studying. Therefore, to begin with, it is worth paying more attention not to finding admirers, but acquiring knowledge in their specialty. Even the most unkind servants always respect the professionals in their business, regardless of whether the woman is a man or a woman. So you will still have a chance to achieve reverence.
And now learn to make friends with men. Do not rush to take signs of attention. Go into the work. Do not be afraid of men: they are annoyed. Men at work are aimed at achieving the goal, the task, so they are much more concerned about what a lady is like an expert, how useful it will be in the work.
If you start to flirt openly, call you diminutive names, "baby", "baby", do not try to make a fuss, this will only spur your familiar colleague. It is better to express condescending surprise. Let him rather look like an ill-bred child than you - an offended girl.
The same applies to some humiliating instructions. For example, when you are the only woman among male colleagues, and you are certainly asked to make tea or make coffee. Clearly, you are shown, "who is the master of the house." Alas, a sharp refusal is usually ineffective. Where better to take the situation under control. For example, most to offer coffee before you are asked to bring it. Then it will look just like the courtesy you showed.
So refrain from coquetry, flirting, forbidden receptions. God forbid you to flirt with the boss! You will automatically become an enemy to all. On the service novels written so much that to exaggerate this topic is meaningless, we should only add that if the situation in the team is heated, then most often the woman is fired.
There is another extreme, in which the ladies fall, seeking to win a worthy place in the men's team. They somehow believe that they will achieve career growth if they immediately forget that they are women, and will quickly turn into hard, masculine businesswomen. Such women tend to adopt the style and manner of behavior, the stiffness in communication with their fellow men. They change even externally: a short haircut, men's suits, strong cigarettes, a man's style of communication. Nevertheless, despite all the efforts, the lady still can not become the end of her in a strictly male team.
However strange it may sound, men feel subconscious falsity. They understand that this behavior is largely naive, unnatural, not typical for a woman, so they will avoid it. Meanwhile, attempts to become a man in a skirt take away a huge amount of energy. The payoff comes later in the form of early aging, shattered nerves, loneliness. Therefore, such a path is unproductive. Do not forget that you are still a woman. So, it's softer, more tolerant, more equal in communication than a man. You are capable of your charm to resist the tough world of male aggression.
But no matter how hard you try, do not hope to easily and easily find a common language with fellow men, and even more so - to get loyal friends at work. Work is not a place to look for friends. For men their work is a place where they can assert themselves, self-actualize as professionals, professionals. This is the territory of competition, sometimes tough, for the opportunity to move up the career ladder. Therefore, at work relations are formed rather at the level of correct professional interaction of all team members, but do not become genuinely friendly. It is hardly possible to speak of such an alliance as a true friendship. Do not expect that once you in a conversation sincerely tell a colleague about all your problems and start sympathetically asking about his affairs, he will immediately become your devoted friend. Men do not seek friendship at work. Especially they are frightened by that emotionality of expression of feelings which is characteristic for women. Men try not to show their emotions so clearly.
If the lady will constantly and very vigorously demonstrate her joy or sadness, the male part of the staff will simply find her hysterical, and therefore - learn to control emotions, do not puzzle the interlocutor with their own problems with the family, health, children. A man will take your revelation as a request for help.
For the same reasons forget about discouragement and complaints. Colleagues-men are furious when they see that we are complaining and complaining of life. In the end, it is on this occasion that you can meet your beloved friend, whose vest is so sweet to cry.
Do not try to get yourself into the man's soul. Men, as a rule, do not like excessive attention to their own personal lives, they do not like the constant discussion of the behavior and personal qualities of colleagues at work. Do not get carried away by this. But your ability to put your shoulder, tactfully and silently, a man will appreciate.
Hide emotions, even faced with frank rudeness from one of the colleagues. Many women believe that if they are raised by a voice or simply yelled, it is impossible to remain silent. The offender should be answered with the same coin or simply burst into tears, trying to make him feel guilty. Probably, someone will cause the expected reaction, but it may happen that neither cry nor tears will stop your enemy. Simply once again, everyone around you will be convinced of your weakness, that you can not be regarded as a full player in the men's team.
Do not in any way show the enemy that he got you, even if it is really so. No one should ever see your tears! It is very important to maintain self-control in such a situation, not to let yourself be dragged into a senseless scandal.
Hold back, answer in an emphatically correct tone. This will cool your opponent's aggressiveness. Speak quietly, this will cause your abuser to turn down the volume. Pause between phrases, this will give time to think and feel your state at the moment. In any controversial situation, the person who owns his emotions looks more worthy. Sometimes rudeness is a provocation, a desire to "show your place". Often, hard-to-look men can not withstand pressure or do not know how to hold a blow. The female advantage is that you are not expected to be courageous and steadfast.
Psychologists noticed one feature of female psychology: if men after a large conversation quickly depart, forgetting about the quarrel, then women, on the contrary, are able to again and again mentally return to an unpleasant episode, scrolling it in the head and continuing to get angry. This is a dead-end road. Rampantness only in vain burns nerve cells. Do not save rancor, do not be vindictive - it hurts first of all you.
Surely you know the expression: "Listen to a woman and do the opposite." Clearly, this could come up only a man, and therefore draw conclusions, especially if you try to get along in the men's team. The conclusion is simple: men are extremely sensitive to all the advice emanating from women. They just do not like them. Men perceive your advice as a criticism, as a statement of their professional inconsistency. By the way, for most men there is only one woman who has the right to indicate them, - mother.
Especially annoying advice when someone is very generous with them shares with everyone. Hence this extremely hostile attitude to the uninvited counselor. In order not to be ranked among such people, try not to criticize anyone, advise anyone, and if you give your opinion, then only when you are asked about it. Whatever they say, people do not like criticism, from whom it comes. On the contrary, a benevolent evaluation, praise, compliment is a significant psychological support for any member of the stronger sex. After receiving it from you, he soon will himself seek advice.
The problems and difficulties that lie in wait for a woman in a men's team are so many that a persistent conviction can arise: a woman simply can not normally exist in this male world. It's not like that at all. Your colleagues hope that you will strengthen their team with your knowledge and skills, that you will be proactive and persevering in achieving common goals, do not overly annoy them with your complexes and, of course, recognize their genius.
Mixed team
This is the most common option. But the pitfalls here may be the following: to you, especially if you are new, from the bored atmosphere and for the sake of diversity, they will begin to show the attention of a man, and for this the teeth of a woman will be sharpened on you. Therefore, it is better not to flirt with men, not to rush to proposals, but not to quarrel with women and build bridges of love and friendship. But after you like the female half and get accustomed to the whole, you can behave as you like, now you are not being forced by someone who is a taciturn nun, a shunning male society. Simply, if you do not immediately make wide eyes and a sweet smile in response to any male compliment and dine with everyone in turn, you are equally respected by both men and women.
@bebetter nice post!