I think it is very helpful to plan your life from the end on backwards. When people get near to the end of their lives, many things get stripped away, have no relevance and importance anymore. Maybe you have experienced it yourself?
In life-threating circumstances, you don’t think of your taxes, your big project at work or your bank account. You think of the things that really matter to you, like your family, friends, what you always would have liked to do or say.
So not surprisingly, all over the world, poor or rich, happy or sad, healthy or sick, people say very very similar things before they die. Below is a list of the top 5 regrets of dying people. I think of this wisdom as a gift and chance to consider for my own life.
The Top 5 regrets of dying people
1. I wish I had the courage to live my life the way I wanted, not trying to live up to the expectations of others
It is said that the graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is where all the dreams, ideas and inventions are that have never been realized. When you are young, you compromise your dreams because you want to fit in, get along, comply with the system. You tell yourself that you have all this time ahead and will act on your dreams when the right time has come. Then, you finally do or say what you have always wanted to. When you are older, you realize how fast life passes by and most people in this world regret before they die that this someday for them has never come and they had “wasted” their lives to realize the dreams of others. There will never be the right time to quit your job and pursue your dream. Life doesn’t work that way. It takes courage, but the rewards ultimate. No matter if you “succeed” or “fail” (whatever that is supposed to mean), you will always look back with pride that you had the courage to pursue your dream and gave it a shot.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
People close to their death don’t really regret doing what they did for a living that much. But they do regret all the time they spent working their way “up” the ladder. Working hard and long hours made them miss so many events and aspects in their lives that had true importance to them at the end. They regret not having spent more time with their spouses, their families, their friends and the things they love doing.
3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings more freely and more often
So many of the people regret having suppressed their own feelings in order to “function better” and continue with life, instead of having the courage to share them with others. Also, they wish they had told the ones they love more often how much they care for them.
4. I wish I had maintained closer relationships with my friends
In the end, you realize that in life it is not really about what you do, what you achieve, what you have or experience. But, who you share those things with. Life is all about the people and the moments you get to spend with them. When you are near the end of your life, you cherish every moment you had with the ones you love.
5. I wish I had allowed myself to be happier
People who are dying realize that it was always up to them to make themselves happy. It was never the job of others (spouse, friends, kids, family), nor did they have the tools to make them happy. They realize that happiness was and will always lie within themselves. Before you die, you realize that you “simply” need to allow yourself to be happy. Our own happiness is always within us, yet we are quite good in distracting and preventing ourselves from it.
Decision making tool
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I have ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” - Steve Jobs
Considering the top 5 regrets of dying people above, to think from the end of your life backwards is a powerful decision making tool. Every time you face an important decision or you worry about something, you can imagine being near the end of your life, looking back on it. With that in mind, you can ask yourself: would I be happy, proud at the endo of my life having spent my time doing what I am doing/about to do? Would I be glad I worried about this aspect of my life? For me personally this little “trick” often clears my worries immediately or helps me make decisions. Also, it makes me smile, because irrelevance of so many “problems” and thoughts become so apparent.
Reading and writing about these top 5 regrets of dying people truly has an impact on how I view my life. I hope it can do the same for you and helps you to live more freely and happily.
Source: http://beingberni.com/top-5-regrets-of-dying-people/
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