Phew that was quite the mouthfull.
Sounds like you have quite a reason to remain, (the girl Obviously).
Maybe she will read this..
Wholly agree with you on not giving an F about this place, just do you and what you want. I take what I get on the way with this place. Don't expect anything, is what I also learned.
She probably will read it. It won't matter.
None of this is news to her. She knows more about me than anyone on Earth, without a single ounce of exaggeration in that remark. Choices have been made, and undoable things have been said and done.
Shes a reason to leave, not to stay, but we have a tenuous friendship with very lopsided prioritizing of each other in it, and I can't imagine life without even that much. Well I can imagine it, and it looks really really sad for me from my current vantage point. So I settle for low priority scraps, because it's something and that's better than nothing.
Hmm.. well you keep at it with those scraps.. and perhaps with a bit of nurture, you may find yourself at a different vantage down the road.
You know how fast life can change.