A bank account that read -$2,000 and several credit cards maxed out.
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That's how my financial situation looked exactly a year ago today, in June 2016. I started out as a digital nomad in 2015 and struggled. I hadn't really worked out my niche in the world. I was shooting from the hip on a ton of different projects. Nothing felt right, but I was still shooting.
I was scraping a few hundred dollars a month from freelance gigs but nothing spectacular.
Money definitely was not flowing.
I'd taken on a contract as a growth marketing apprentice. The pay was fucking terrible. But it was steady and I was super thankful to have some cash coming in that could support me.
This influx of cash and self belief made me get a little arrogant though.
I wanted to run before I could walk in business terms.
Before I'd even won any of my own clients, I took the bold move of quitting the gig and going solo... with $2k in the bank.
Shock, this was not a good decision. This meant that I was peddling like a mad man to make anything work. But nothing was. I am not a designer. Which is funny considering I thought I could start my own design agency (lol). I was foolish and delusional. So far gone that it led me back to my family home with a minus on my bank account and a ton of credit card debt that had bootstrapped me in the 4 months I tried to go it alone.
I remember getting home and feeling so deflated.
"Why didn't I make it work?"
"Did I not work hard enough?"
The truth was, I just wasn't mature enough to work for myself at that point. I didn't have the drive. I hadn't seen the struggle you have to make, to make it happen. I didn't appreciate that success and money don't come overnight.
But you know what?
It was the best lesson I've ever had in my life.
I grew up so much during those shitty times that now, when I'm earning a solid income with several clients, I'm always being a little cautious. I won't let myself get into a vulnerable position again.
It's not made me any less risk-averse. Far from it. In fact, I still love risk as much as I did before. But I don't play around with financial risk as much. At least not without appreciating the consequences.
Thanks for reading my story. I don't usually talk about it, but it's good to get it off my chest.
Who else has had to struggle? And how did you get through it?
some of my things doesn't works. still i am eiger to do my small enterpreuner. or something that we called so.