I've learned the hard way that "blood is not thicker than water"....my wife's father....who would have been the ultimate grand parent....died at age 51....my father's past history didn't allow him to get close to people so pretty much divorced my brothers and later grand children once he divorced my mother....it does hurt...but...as long as children have someone to love them...they will see reality as they get older....
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We have each other, my girls are my world. Sorry for your loss though 51 is very young bless him.