-Picture of me as a cover page
So as you can tell by the title, I've experienced a few things most shouldn't have to. Yes, they were self inflicted and can't blame anyone for my choices, but still, no one should have to deal with them. I've made it 30 years now and have nothing to show for it. I just recently decided to change my life around, and I hope someone will read this and take it to heart.
It started with smoking pot. First time I smoked I was 11 years old. By age 15, I had become a habitual smoker. That continued on for the next 15 Years. I will never consider marijuana a drug, but it was the other stuff i started using that caused the addict to be born. I tried anything and everything, never missing the opportunity for a buzz. I hope to influence others to avoid the route i took, and here are a few reasons why.
-Image from https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/marijuana
I want to start with money. There is no way you can have a habit and have anything even remotely nice. Sure, you may get that nice something, but I can be an example as to how quickly it can be gone. At one point I owned 7 vehicles. Granted they weren't show room beauties, but they drove and did what they were supposed to. Now I don't own a car, I have to walk everywhere I go, and trying my best to remedy that situation.
That leads me right into having a job. You can't have an addiction and have a good paying job. You may convince yourself that they won't catch you, but I promise, the addiction will take precedent and win in the end. It will become the reason to fuction. I lost a decent job because I thought I needed the drugs to make it through the day. When you need drugs before you can get up to go to work, it's quite disheartening.
You will never have a healthy relationship. If you have a habit and find a significant other, your options are very limited. You could choose to lie to them. You may get away with that for awhile, but eventually the missing money or the attitude or something will give it away to the point you will get caught. That only leads to more fighting about lying. The other option isbhe or she knows about it. In every scenario I've been in, this means your partner is partaking in the drug abuse. At that point, you have to look at it as your habit is twice what it should be. Twice the money spent to get the same effects. I guarantee this is a recipe for a fight.
-Image from https://uldissprogis.com/2014/03/04/the-truth-about-arguing/amp/
It will only be a matter of time, before you begin selling whichever drug you have chosen. After so much time, it's inevitable, you will look to find the cheapest route. Once you realize buying in bulk saves money, realize you have "friends" that do the same thing, it's a small step to start dealing. Once that starts, the paranoia alone is almost too much looking over your shoulder, watching every cop car that drives by. It will get so bad your closest friends become suspects in your eyes. Pot was an easy source of money for me. I worked, but also bought a pound a week minimum. It didn't stick to only that though. If I could make a dollar doing it, I sold it. All to get the next buzz.
When your body becomes dependant on a substance, it's a whole new level of understanding that most can't comprehend. I've watched people wake up throwing up being so sick they could barely walk. Worst part was it had nothing to do with not having anything. They had it, but being asleep for six hours put their bodies into withdrawals, so before they could make it to where they had it stashed, they were sick. How is that a life anyone would want to live?
-Image from https://www.everyonedoesit.com/products/liquid-ice-water-bong
One of the hardest things for me when I decided to quit, was dealing with emotions. See, I had spent the last 10 years numb. I used drug abuse as a coping mechanism, so I didn't have to feel. I had a really bad childhood to young adult, which I'll share eventually, and instead being a man and dealing with life's trials, I got high and didn't deal with anything. When I decided to finally do the right thing, emotions were beyond me. They were so foriegn, years later I still struggle distinguishing what I'm feeling. The worst part of it all are the extremes and lack of control of them. It didn't matter which, happy, sad, painful, ecstatic, they all became overwhelming. I am easily put into tears, and all it takes is a drastic swing of emotion. I won't even touch on the depression. It's a story on its own.
This Is something I feel strongly about. Ever since I decided to straighten my life up, I have tried helping others that are in the same position. Rehabs are an option, but they also are a punch to the pride. Knowing you weren't able to do it alone hurts the already waivering confidence. It becomes a downward spiral with little hope of coming out of it. I know most of this is common knowledge and been said many times over, but I hope hearing it from someone who has lived it will effect just one person. It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow or even this decade. As long as one person takes from this I'll be happy.
Thank you for reading
-Bran
-Image taken Right Now with Smartphone
Your writing can be described as no less than Powerfulrful, good Ser. You're truly an amazing person to share your story only for the benefits of others. My heart is warmed and touched by your writing. Thank you for being so opened. So many struggle with this issue and aretoo afraid to say anything. My Hope and my prayer is that your message reaches them and helps Every Soul that lands upon this page
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STOPMany times people find it hard to communicate or open up because they think they are alone and don't realize that there are a lot of people in the world who are having a difficult time or have been through worse. Thank you for sharing part of your life and I hope too it helps someone who needs it.
good job man
You are not alone man... I know that feeling when you feel like you've been numbing yourself for so long, only to have it all catch up with you at once. You feel a bit crazy because it feels like your cycling through amplified emotions. I remember when I stopped smoking weed and messing with pills, I didn't feel right for like three months. Honestly, for me, the best thing to do was to look to the future and occupy myself "with positive" activities like exercise, reading, online courses whatever I could do to keep my mind occupied, and over time I gradually began feeling somewhat normal again.
I'd stay motivated by telling myself that what I do today is what tomorrow is going to based on, not necessarily what happened yesterday or before that. Oh yeah and that book "the power of habit", really changed my whole perspective on everything, it made me understand that people are resilient and they really can change things for themselves. Whatever you do, don't give up on yourself.
It's been a struggle finding what is me. And what I like. Who I am. Those are foreign. Pills were my downfall. For 10 years they were world. I'm lucky to have finally have best it but still a daily struggle. Thank you brother. I knew you gave off a good vibe from the first day and we spoke. I stand by that.
You will find out who you are. Struggles are what make us who we are, they teach us and make us humble, patient, and compassionate for others. Without struggle, we take so much for granted. It may not seem that way now, but I really do believe that life's difficult moments can also be its defining moments.
Oh definitely. We are all defined by our experiences. Hop in discord when you get a chance. I been playing around with some fun stuff
God bless. Thanks for sharing your story. Although I've never struggled with drug addiction, there are other things in life that can consume one's time, thoughts and energy far more than it should. I'm as guilty as the next and your story was nice to hear. You sound very genuine and I truly hope you succeed in you goal to help others in need of a voice that can relate to their struggles. :)
Thank you. It's one of many things I'll share here. My 32 years of life have been a huge rollercoaster ride. I've made many bad choices but that doesnt make me a bad person. I am hoping that my story will help at least one person. It deter them from following my path. I really hope to be a positive influence in at least one person. That's all I ever could hope for.
Thank you for your kind words. It means the world to me. So many are quick to judge people that have been through what I have and immediately associate us with a negative connotation. It's really nice too see people who are open to the fact they're are people too. We just have different issues. God bless. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks for sharing this story with us man! It takes a lot of courage to open up one's dark past and share it to the world! By the way, i submitted this post to Curie, and i hope it will be rewarded! More power to you man! 😀
Thank you so much. I hope my life choices Can be a how not to kinda guide Lol I've made life hard for myself at every turn but have always kept my intellect about me. I've always wanted to help and if it requires sharing a few of skeletons in my closet so be it. I'm an open book l. BTW what is curie? I'm not even 3 weeks old here. I'm still learning alot
Well, Curie is a group that looks for undervalued quality posts and rewards it with a big upvote. i submitted this as i see the message this post brings is significant and also to help raise awareness about the downside of drug use.
By the way, you have been scouted by @promo-mentors. We are always on the look-out for promising authors.
I would like to invite you to our discord group where we are a community that fosters camaraderie and help authors improve their blogging skills where we have mentors that conduct post feedback sessions and other things.
If you have time, do check us out!
https://discord.gg/vDPAFqb.
When you are there send me a message if you get lost! (My Discord name is the same as the one here)
What a powerful honest punch in the gut. Thanks to what ever higher power it took to get you on the road to being healthy again. This is a condition that so many have yet is often viewed as the underbelly of life. And that is not the case. I’m just so happy that you are in a decent place now and sharing your wit,wisdom, angst and wondefullness with all of us. Seven blessings......
It's always great to read stories like that. I never had problem like that, but if I would be on your place, I am not sure if I would be able to tell this story, I may not have enough courage, would keep it inside.
That is great decision, you could have so huge positive impact on other people life. Hope you will find a way to help others, and that it will have huge positive impact on you too! :)
Thank you for your kind words. What really set me along the pat of sharing was an attempted suicide. I'll be making a post about it eventually but waking from jtnhad some eye opening effects. It seems natural to tell others now. It almost feels the opposite for me. I have to share. Whether anyone is listening or not. Amazingly many here have
If you like I have set up a discord for us new users learning the ropes. We are book lovers as well specifically George r r Martin game of thrones or a song of Ice and Fire. But we are working together to grow together. If you would like to join I would be honored
https://discord.gg/xm8mRyC
Thanks for the invitation! I do not have Discord account, but I will create one later when I will be at home and will join! :) That sounds like a nice group.
Awesome. Take your time. No rush