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Today we say goodbey and farewell to our dearly beloved father, father in law and grandpa. It’s been a black few months and the last few weeks were intense. I am sitting here in the middle of the early early morning and waiting for it all to begin. I am nervous and sad, happy for him but the missing has already started big time.
Picking out clothes for six and be representative for the occasion was done, and the boys and us two ladies are going to be dressed like he wanted. Call it all fashioned but black was his wish or grey but we managed and honoured one of his last wishes.
A look at why black clothing has been the colour associated with funerals and mourning, and how this is changing and encouragement to have a more positive farewell event got me curious.
Wearing black at funerals had much to do with Queen Victoria. Until the death of her beloved Prince Albert in 1861, black was not the colour associated with funerals, though as the 19th century progressed it was gaining popularity among the upper classes at funerals, taking over from white.
According to dress historian Lou Taylor, "white was the most ancient and widespread funeral colour." White still is in many cultures where it symbolises purity and innocence.
But the British watched the intense grief of their queen, and copied her behaviour. Victoria wore her black widow’s clothes for the remainder of her life, and hence black was what was worn at funerals and by those in mourning for their late husbands, wives and children.
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As the death of the loved one became more distant, a gradual lightening of colour was accepted by society, as was the message it gave to possible suitors.
The slaughter of the Great War, and the influenza epidemic that followed it, changed people’s views on what to wear in the early part of the 20th century. Such was the large number of those mourning the death of a loved one that black clothing would have been virtually the only colour worn. A growing fashion industry and less restrictive social mores meant that while black was still worn at all funerals, it was no longer necessary to have a mourning period that included wearing black.
Interestingly, until Coco Chanel designed the iconic black dress in 1926, a woman wearing black clothing for anything other than funerals and mourning was considered to be in bad taste. And me and my daughter choose a black dress and heels.
For decades now black has been fashion’s most versatile and popular colour. And it is still the accepted colour to be worn at a funeral as black signifies tradition, grief and solemnity.
If you want your funeral, or that of a loved one, to have these qualities, then you needn’t do anything as most people attending the event will wear black or dark colours. However, if you want your life to be celebrated in a more modern and positive way, start by requesting people to wear bright and lively colours. This should be one of the requests in your funeral wishes list.
It will reduce the grief, lighten the atmosphere and make the ceremony less mournful. Asking people who are attending your funeral to wear bright clothes sends a certain message to your family and friends...some will disapprove, some will be uncomfortable, but all will take notice of how you want your final event to be remembered. But again it was his wish so we are wearing black. I won’t be on here today, but happy weekend.
#source knowledge of me and parts from funeral magazine.uk
#source my own picture of this mornings sunset
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I just woke to see your post as the first thing to appear on my feed. As someone that has lost both father and mother I understand and feel your loss.
I can only say be strong and just remember the good times you shared. Give others strength if you can as many with deal with the loss differently.
Take care my dear and sorry for your loss.
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Heel veel sterkte vandaag Britt voor jou en je familie....
Wish you all strength.
Sorry for your loss. Prayers and thoughts for you and your family.
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Love & blessings to everyone celebrating and mourning the loss of your dear father. Much comfort to all as you begin life in a new way now. 🖤🙏🖤🌾🍃
Sorry for your loss. Remember, cherish, and go on.
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My sincere condolences for your loss..
Be strong, my dear
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You know that our prayers go with you my sister.
All strength to the family and take things easy for a while.
Blessings!
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Goodbyes are so hard. I’m so sorry for your loss, @brittandjosie. The historic information is so interesting. Thank you for that!
Aw, I'm very sorry dear friend. I'm sure today was not easy on you or your family. You have my thoughts and best wishes.
@brittandjosie
I hope you managed yesterday. These rituals are hard, but so necessary. On the colour thing: have you noticed how, when someone is depressed, they wear dull, dark colours? As if they are mourning? That was such an interesting set of insights, thank you.
You know that we live in a small village. Many folk here are not religious so when there is a death, it's not always a funeral. We seem to lean toward the Celtic tradition of having a wake: a hell of a party to celebrate the life of the loved-one. It's hard, sad and full of happy memories. It's the way I'd like my life acknowledged: food, wine, music and laughter.
Strength to you all in this time.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
I had no idea black attire at funerals is so recent a tradition. I think black has been traditional attire for Greek widows for longer than that though, and my mother would not allow me to wear it.
I hope the day went well for you all.
My condolence to you and family. Sorry for your loss. Overhere, we have the option of wearing either black or white. And no no colourful or red. But I do think if one day I go home to heaven, I will love my funeral to be a celebrations because I have finished my race here and going back to my Lovely Eternity. No more sorrow or pain. And I think i am okay with colourful.
Hugs to you.
I am so sorry for you loss... 😥
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So sorry for your loss
Hugs
I prefer the more modern approach myself. It should be a party to celebrate the good times!
Sorry about your loss. I hope you have some amazing memories that he may live on though.
Sorry for your loss. Thank you for the backstory.
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