Please, let people who are close to you know how you feel. Don't be afraid to get help. People think that asking for help is a weakness, when in fact it is a strength to be open to others.
There's no such thing as perfect, yet everything is perfect in their own unique way. You can always try to improve a painting, but there comes to a point where you have to stop, think that it's good enough, and make a new one. "Mistakes" are what make something different. Think like Bob Ross, where there's only happy little accidents.
I wish you the best and hope you find the help you need.
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Thank you for your kind words. I'm lucky enough to find someone who cares and was able to comfort me last night.
That's good. I'm glad you have someone who's there for you (: