@markdeheide the two questions in the title of your post I am sure could be answered by "it depends." The funny thing about being a parent is that you love your child, but recognize that that your kids are still independent human being that make terrible/awful/stupid choices.
The best thing to do is be consistent, go and cook them dinner every once in a while, and (if possible) pay for a rockstar vacation with your thic Steemit payouts.
@chefcryptoshark yeah I mean that is basically a very good suggestion to any parent. Realise that kids are human beings, with the emphasis on 'beings' themselves. Entities that make their own choices, have their own dreams, and own visions. Try not to interfere with that too much :)