I typically am a person that says I live with no regrets...
That everything happens for a reason....
That's been pretty much a motto of mine for quite some time...
But as I sit by and watch one of my closest friends enter into a divorce and attempt to find her identity apart from what has been her other half of herself for years and years I realized something...
I do have a regret...
I regret not ever DATING MYSELF...
I regret not ever truly getting to know MYSELF without the attachment of another person making up my "other half"...
I regret not being my own WHOLE...
And not because I regret any of the relationships I've been in or things I've done and experienced ...
But because now I have a daughter...
And I stopped to think; there hasn't been an extended amount of time, since I was in high school, that I've really been "alone"...
Yet, someday I'm supposed to teach my daughter to fully love herself and be her own person and her own identity without relying on a man...
But I haven't even done that...
I guess it just made me realize that at any moment and time life can change, and people can be gone...and the only person you're left with no matter what; is yourself...
And while I wouldn't necessarily go back and do anything differently, I just wish I could insert a gap in the middle of all of it to experience this...
To just be me, to not wait on someone to ask you on a date and take myself. To be confident enough when they say how many to say 1. To order what I want how much I want and take as long as I want doing it. To take myself to the movies, whatever movie IIIIII want to watch, and get the biggest bucket of popcorn and laugh and cry as often as Id like. To wake up early on a Sunday and take that adventure you've been dying to do and not have to wait on anyone to do it with you...
My point is... if you know a young female, or someone struggling with finding their excitement in life, I urge you to suggest dating themselves, and taking that time for THEM, and do all they want to do. Because before you know it, you're entering your 30s and wondering where the heck time went... and kids restrict some of the "adventures" you can go on and risks you can take...
So, go on that adventure, watch that movie you want to, buy that outfit, cut your hair how you've been dying to try, sit at a booth by yourself, skydive, drive for hours with no place to go, buy that vehicle you want, travel, meet new people, re connect with old... LOVE YOUR LIFE...and most importantly LOVE YOURSELF <3
Great post @chelseajo!! A very important reminder that we need to be teaching our daughters! I was in a relationship all of my 20's, got married had kids and am now divorced. It's only now mid 30's that I really know who I am and am the most confident I've ever been.
exactly! you just NEVER know... its sad but true.. and especially us as women have to be super strong in a situation like that and not just for ourselves but most definitely FOR OUR BABIES. we consume ourselves with trying to be the perfect partner and then bam one day theyre gone and its like who am I without him? we have to learn to love ourselves more because at the end of everything the only one who truly 100% has us... is US , ourselves.
Yep . 20-30 is the age of adventures and I’m lucky that I’m still 19 and would enjoy my twenties to it’s peaks . Thanks for the suggestion lady
yes! go after it all! seriously! 20-30 FLIESSSS by!! I did a lot of things I wanted to do don't get me wrong but I still have a long bucket list of things I shoulda woulda coulda done before starting a family and "growing up" if you have thought about doing something more than once, don't say no, do it, figure out a way! we only get one life and it can be gone so quickly, live with no regrets!! you have time to be serious and responsible later in life... 20-30s, HAVE A BLAST while you can!
Yeah sure !! I would :)
:)
Hey! You shouldn’t regret anything at 27!!!
Awesome Chelsea you inspired to love myself and i learned something new from you thank you.
youre very welcome! at the end of the day anyone can up and leave you and all you have left is yourself so you MUST love yourself and learn how to date yourself and be in love with yourself as well because in the end the only person you can 1100% count on is YOU!! :)
Thank you Chelsea let's build a good friendship together Keep In Touch Please
absolutely!!!!! :)
😍😍
<3