I thought you were going to be trying to milk an old gal, that would be hard to do but not impossible I suppose. They’ve got a chicken fetish too sometimes I suppose, tickle their candy. (It was supposed to be fancy but auto correct felt that was more appropriate. I’m gonna let it ride, tickle my candy please!)
What was the hard milk, was it spiked with some booze? That was my other suspicion, but my second choice of course. I prefer to think you were trying to fondle some old ladies.