Here is a quick little snippet about the things that DRASTICALLY change as soon as you become a mom (or Parent).
People like to tell you that nothing will change and you will eventually be yourself again. They couldn't be more wrong. Here are some of the biggest things that do a complete 180 on you:
You become uncomfortably comfortable with poop, pee, throw up, ear wax, slobber, and just about anything else that secretes itself out of any bodily orifice. Since I became a mom, all of these things have made their way onto my face at some point. Despite swearing before parenthood that you would literally throw up from the smell of urine, much less having it power wash your eyelids, suddenly it becomes funny...I mean, I have had poop on the back of my finger and it has made its way onto my lip, people....and I didn't gag. I casually made my way to the nearest bathroom, kleenex, scrunched up napkin in the floorboard of the car and wiped it away and continued on with my day....WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?!
Your friends vanish. I am telling you that you will never see the 197 people who liked your Facebook post with the tiny shoes announcing that you were going to become a mommy, ever again. Out of the ones who comment on that post, you are looking at maybe, MAYYYBE seeing 5% of them after the baby arrives. One of three things happens here to make all of this happen just so... 1) Your entire life changes because you become a mommy and you don't find yourself doing any of the same things you did before, 2) Your friends find you to be boring, monotonous and generally lacking in spontaneity and they stop coming over, inviting you out, calling, texting, thinking about you, etc... 3) They come and see the baby after it's born, rave about how precious it is and how they can't wait to see it do this and do that and leave thinking to themselves that they'd die if they had a kid and they go into permanent hibernation never to been seen or heard from again after that one encounter......by you (they are still all over Facebook with all of your formerly mutual friends eyeroll)
Showers, makeup, and hairstyles are no longer mandatory. There was a time where you wouldn't catch me outside of my house without AT LEAST two of these three being on point. Am I a diva? No, but you just never know who you may run into at Target!!! Taylor Swift was at the one in Nashville a couple of weeks ago!!!! And so was I...In sweatpants, flip flops with socks, three day dirty hair, and two day old make up. I am telling you that once you are a mom, it takes every ounce of every thing you have in you to just get yourself and your child out of the house in one piece sometimes. While I was looking like that, my child was wearing an entire ensemble of matchy matchyness....Shoes, Jeans, a Polo, a jacket....THE WORKS. LOL There are days where you just need to get out of the house because you might go crazy if you don't and when you turn on the shower to get in for five minutes you can't because your child screams as soon as you set them down so you just walk out the door as you are and deal. (Yes, that was a run on because that is how it feels as it is happening.)
If you were shy or conservative before you had a baby, you never will be again. Baby is hungry at Thanksgiving surrounded by friends and family? Boob (Unless there is that one creepy uncle in attendance and you grab someone's jacket or vest to toss over yourself, while still just sitting casually at the table only with slurping sounds, kicking feet, fingers in your mouth, and the occasional, loud slurp once and a while) Trying to get groceries at Kroger and baby decides to pitch a royal fit because he's hungry and tired, but you are already invested in your halfway filled cart and you can't bear the thought of vacating the premise to feed and potentially lose all of your groceries? Boob Sitting in the parking lot of anywhere about to go in anywhere, head home, or just sit there because it's a change of venue from the confines of your four walls at home? Boob *Now, I'm not necessarily saying its out there for the world to see in these instances, but heck, its out and the world knows EXACTLY what you are doing!
Personal space will never ever exist again. When I sleep, he's beside me. When I pee, he's in my sight. When I poop, I am either holding him or I can see him right in front of me or on a monitor. When he sleeps, I see him on the monitor or I am next to him. When I grocery shop, he's there. When I Christmas shop, he's there. When I drink a glass of wine on Thursdays while I watch Grey's he's there. When I have sex....Okay, I haven't done that yet because I am very VERY Very much a single mom and I literally don't even know if I would know where to start, LOL...but you get the point. Privacy is no longer and never will be, EVER again.
.....And I wouldn't trade any of it for anything else in the world <3
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