WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
You matter. / No one cares about you.
I can be a great influence to someone. / No one knows you exist.
I can have big dreams. / Who do you think you are?
I love him. / You’re not good enough for him.
People like me. / Your to much of a mess.
I’m beautiful. / Fix yourself.
I’m loved for who I am. / You will never be loved if you take off your mask.
God can use me. / You are worthless to Him.
Everyone thinks your crazy, your dreams are childish, your to needy, you live in a fantasy world, your to immature, your a wimp, you can’t handle life, your sheltered, you havnt experienced hardship compared to everyone else, you think to much of yourself.... YOU KNOW NOTHING.
You will NEVER be good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough, nice enough, special enough to be wanted. You will NEVER measure up. You will NEVER be popular. You will NEVER be important. Your to insignificant to have big dreams...who do you think you are?!
I AM A DAUGHTER OF THE KING
This is just a portion of what is going on inside the mind of a 20 year old girl. She has been hearing these same words repeat over and over in her mind for over 10 years. This young girl is me.
How does this happen? Why are there so many people that hear these very same words go through their minds daily? And why do other people choose to ignore it or deem it less important than health illnesses? “Just stop thinking like that?” “Your doing it to yourself.” “Your making to big a deal out of this.” These comments and many more are constantly aimed at people who deal with mental illnesses, making them feel to messed up to keep living. Over 90% of suicide victims have mental health issues, diagnosed or undiagnosed. Depression and anxiety, among many others, are killing more of our younger generation than health issues, yet some people think it isn’t a big deal and their just wimps who can’t handle life.
Readers, I implore you today, don’t make the people around you who deal with these problems feel like less of a person. They are people who long to be loved, understood and wanted. They need your love and friendship not your judgement. As a young girl I thought I was messed up. I couldn’t control what my thoughts were saying or making me feel. I knew when I was making a big deal out of something that seemed so small and trivial yet I didn’t know how to stop. People told me I was to emotional so I tried my best to keep my emotions hidden. My struggle to be normal made me look for my identity and purpose in all the wrong things. Thus bringing me more problems like anorexia, depression, social anxiety, etc that I would struggle with daily. I would always hear these words in my head. “You’ll never be good enough, skinny enough, popular enough to be accepted.” And you know what. They were right. If I looked for my identity and acceptance from the world then I never would be good enough. BUT— If I search for my identity and acceptance in God I am already good enough. So my dear readers... where do you put your identity? In the world? Or in God?
DREAM BIG!
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Gods will is- His good,pleasing, and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
In the last year as I’ve battled everyday against the thoughts going on in my mind this has become my life verse. I’m not perfect. I still fight daily to overcome the struggles I went through for over 10 years, but I now have a purpose and I know I am wanted, accepted, loved and most of all... that I matter. So what is my identity and purpose? I am a daughter of the King and I was born to dream big!