Have you ever met someone the moment they walked in the room everything brightened up? I have! My best friend was one of them. His name was Tom and about 4 months ago he committed suicide. It was truly a shocker, nobody expected that one of the most cheerful people they have ever met would be so depressed inside that they would eventually pull a gun on themselves.Tom was a very kind person, he would always strive to bring up someones day if they were feeling down and come up with the funnest things to do when we were board. To any normal person they would think that Tom the happiest person on the planet. but the truth was, he was always doing those things to try to make himself feel better from all his sadness. Tom was clinically depressed and had severe anxiety. he hid it so well that he kept it from his own family. I'm using Tom as an example of how people can hold in things that are bothering them and never try to seek help with it. Never in the world would I want someone to suffer because they are too afraid to seek help from the winding hole of depression. And I use that metaphorically of how depression and grip you in spiraling mindset that can make you feel worse and worse. If you're feeling depressed inside go talk to someone. find a solution for whatever is bothering you. Life is hard but remember that being born is like winning the lottery. DON'T WASTE IT.
Many people that you think are the funniest or the happiest are the ones that sometimes hurt the most. Watch out for your friends and family.
I'm sorry for your loss. I have lost friends to depression as well.