It's all for him or her, you can not live without this person, with it you feel a whole person, but without it you are nothing ... at least Is that what you believe. The constant thought of most of us is "without you I do not exist." Perhaps you've felt it at some point, perhaps ever lived or is living it now. When your whole life revolves around a person that you love, your world falls apart if that person goes away. Suddenly everything starts to need to make sense. You feel abandoned (the) vulnerable, just ... do not know what to do or how to do. This person was all, and now ... you have nothing.
"Depend on the loved one is a way to bury in life, an act of psychological self-mutilation, where self-love, respect for yourself and personal essence are offered and gifted irrationally." -Walter Riso-
It is normal to feel this way, because if you shared time with this person might feel empty for a while. But ... his life and existence depend on him or her? What is this "without you I do not exist"? If so, we should already be talking about emotional dependency.
"My happiness depends on you"
The empty can happen when someone we love dies. It can be a mother, a father, a brother, a spouse, among others. It is something we can not avoid. By circumstances of life, these people were all for us are no longer with us, so we will take some time to assimilate and accept the emptiness that we feel now. But what happens when a person goes on our side? What happens when it breaks our relationship, for example? We can not keep anyone on our side, just as we can not guarantee that every relationship works out. But what we can not do is to cease to exist, to take care of ourselves, thinking of us when that person is gone. You should always think of you. Even if you're with someone, do not let your life, your happiness, your well-being totally dependent on the other person.
You are really mistaken if you think this is true happiness. You should be free, be good about yourself. With this, you can share your life with someone else, but never giving it the power to decide on your life. Because suddenly I give the reins of my life to this person I love? You may suffer from a low self-esteem, you might be giving everything to this person ... You may have fear of abandonment and need to cling to as much as possible, seeking this security it badly needs.
Freedom of dependence
For you to break free of this dependence, should consider some attitudes that keep you from moving forward and block your actions if you do not have that person who is the center of your existence at your side. To begin, you should take care of your self-esteem. Love yourself and give yourself the value that you deserve. Do not put your life in the hands of anyone, because only you have the power to decide its course. So what else should you consider?
- Do not let your happiness focuses on one person.
- Do not override the wishes of others above your desires
- If you only feel good when you feel wanted, change! There is something that is not working as it should.
- Do not accept being with someone if you are suffering.
- Do not allow this person to be the center of your life.
These and number of other things are that make our happiness depend on other people and not ourselves, as it should be. In some cases we confuse love and affection as something necessary. This does not always bring us good things and the relationship can not be healthy. You need to be at peace with yourself without having to need someone. Learn to be alone, learn not to depend on anyone.
You may be afraid of loneliness, but what good to be with someone just for fear of walking alone? Maybe this person give you confidence and security, but the relationships you build will be destructive. Do not give yourself the luxury of being unhappy in your life, because in your hands is a chance to be happy for yourself. Break free from any ties and rediscover yourself with your inner self. He will never abandon you and will always be with you.
good read