I feel your frustration coming through the screen, and I feel for you... it all sounds pretty one-sided. From the sound of things, this fear he brought up is just another in a long series of excuses designed largely to keep himself "stuck" in a holding pattern.
We all fail at stuff we try... I remember one of my very first mentors telling me "He who hasn't made a mistake hasn't made ANYthing." There's some truth in there... screwing up helps us sort out what to do-- and NOT to do-- next time around.
Clearly, you guys are in a relationship with some "miles" on it, so you're not hanging with this guy because you're all starry eyed by "new love." So I'm going to ask a question I not long ago asked my won 25-year old daughter: "it's clear what HE is getting out of this relationship, but what are YOU getting out of it... and whatever 'it' is, are you happy with the price you're paying?"
Either way, bright blessings to both of you!