I know what you mean about suppressing the memories. There was a lot of stuff that I had chosen to force out of my mind that was unconsciously triggered when I got into law enforcement. Then when things got to their tipping point and I left law enforcement and sought help, all of those repressed memories started coming back to me during the process I had to go through with the VA.
I have started a veterans club at my school and one of the main things we do is offer support for each other, but the one downside we all face when we do that is every time one of us is going through a hard time and we open up about why, the other person takes on that burden as well and relives a lot of their memories while helping the other person. It's good that we are all there for each other and have a tight knit group.
Yeah, the opening up process is super hard because in order to do it, you have to accept other peoples burden as well. But that's the point of the group, spreading the weight out amongst all of you. You're not a single person when you're part of a community, especially when that means something like yours. The loads a lot lighter with more :) At least that's what I think.
The law enforcement thing...I imagine that was a complex mix of emotions. Familiarity, yet all the triggers. Then, no familiarity, but still the triggers...I'm really glad you found an outlet like you did, and had the strength to form that group. :)