If you find me charming, it means that right now you’re in a good mood, nothing more.
― Anthony de Mello
I'm sure you have heard that phrase - that's just who she/he is. You say this every time you try to justify or understand someone's actions or feelings. The big question is, are you really in love with people? Do you help them because you are in love with them? You are never in love with anyone. You are in love with the prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person. Humans are conditional beings. The reason there are broken marriages, toxic relationships, and people not getting along in this world.
Whenever I feel happy, sad or angry, I try to observe my reactions as if I am watching myself in the mirror. Am I responding happily to a person because I am in a good mood and that person seems agreeable at the moment? Did I say the right thing? Am I being arrogant? Am I letting out those childish things that I should have outgrown? To observe yourself is the hardest thing. Because the easier path is to deny the truth. You try to maintain your good image to get approval and applause from others. And it's not always easy to admit your own errors.
It is not always easy to observe yourself especially if don't have a trusted person to serve as your mirror. To call you out and to remind you that you fail to observe yourself. The surefire way to put someone in arrogant defense is to ask the big question - what's wrong with you? Those who are not self-aware will react instead of responding. It's like admitting that you failed to be needed. That you failed to live up to the expectations of others. People are brought up to need people, for approval, acceptance, applause, and appreciation.
To be self-aware is like waking up to reality. To suddenly admit that the world is in chaos, the people are bad and there's only so much you can do. People want a cure, as long as they can have it without pain. It's like progress without change. To be aware is painful. To know the bullshit of this world, of those around you, and yourself would be the most difficult thing to accept. To hurt your own ego is painful. To let others hurt your ego is more painful.
Acknowledge that the path to self-awareness and acceptance is painful. Nothing worth attaining comes without pain. To change from within, one must go through it all.
I got an education and it took me years to get over it. But that is the real education - unlearning the rubbish that I have been taught. To constantly be aware of the illusion I'm under.
There's chaos in this world because most people are not really aware of their actions and feelings. Are you aware that you are unhappy? Are you aware that you are harming others? Are you aware of your own ignorance? Are you aware that it is hard for you to change? That it is hard to unlearn things. That it is hard to see through people's bullshit. That it is hard to accept the truth.
Self-observation is hard because of distractions. You have this idea that everything is going to last. That you will not lose your things, your wealth, your friends, or the idea of that person you like. Things can be destroyed and taken away from you. People can change. But are you ready to accept that change?
Don't worry as people don't want to grow up yet. They don't want to change and they don't want to be happy. Because the path is painful. These days people want easy things. Self-medication, suicide, apathy, ignorance - the easy way out. Some people are under the illusion that they are comfortable and happy because they have chosen not to feel anymore. That is not real. That is only numbing the pain. Don't lose yourself.
Step by step, let whatever happens happen. Real change will come when it is brought about, not by your ego, but by reality. Awareness releases reality to change you. - Anthony de Mello
Hey @diabolika, you make so many valid points about the vantage point of the self.
You know I was just thinking about this subject again last night. I was having a conversation with my spiritual partner about what it means to have a real look at oneself.
It's like, how can you know you have lint on your back unless you have those mirrors around you to help you see it?
I am fond of different methods to analyze situations and take a lens, including Myers-Briggs Personality Types. Last night I was re-reading what it means to be ENFJ (any time I've tested, this is what I get) and how my ability to observe me is a huge part of me staying healthy.
Without the salty, there'd be no sweet...and personally, I like to get a little mixy, so a spike-o-spice is good with me too. ^_^
I like this, it's like - I can't eat bland food all the time lol.
I agree. Thanks for the insight!
💘
The mind is a mirror gathering dust. If there is no mirror where does the dust fall?
OMG, this is good.
‘I got an education and it took me years to get over it’
‘These days people want easy things.....suicide’
Seriously, have you ever thought of going to Hollywood and becoming a screenwriter? I’m sure I’ve watched melancholic/arthouse films with less good material😀
I'm ok with Steemit lol. I've learned so much here especially about cryptos hey!
Hi @diabolika!...ahhh your posts are so inspiring! I have decided to reach out to those I follow to just send a heartfelt follow up. You made it easy with your beautiful words and curiosity in your blogs...as always! Thank you again for your time and great work! You do an awesome job!
We decided to leave the ratrace from the many points you just wrote about. (And it cause my husband to get cancer) After he was cured in two weeks over in Spain we have found a passion to help people for real! We live in a rv fulltime traveling, spreading the help and have no stress and pure happiness everyday...now our hearts speak of truth with no distractions! :)
Thanks @soulsavers. I know your family's story is inspiring. It is great to be traveling fulltime with your loved ones now. All the best!
Yes, it is...thanks for you reply! xxx
Yes are we help people when we loved them that is a imporatnt question we ask it to oursolves before every relationship
tough and honest, I like it, repost
Thank you!
Most of us are trapped in who we think we ought to be. Escape is find out out ad then allowing ourselves to be who we really are...
True!
Really good points in your post!! :)
What helps me on my self-observation is writing everything down, then I somehow see everything from more distance and even if I do not come to a conclusion each time, it helps to order my thought and reflect..
Have a good day!
Greeting, Coco
Pretty inspiring blog by the way! :)
Thank you!
This is so true. And that's how you hear people say they fell out of love. No! You weren't even in love in the first place....you fell in love with the idea of being in love with that person, probably because of how you think they made you feel that certain time.
It is a hard pill to swallow, but it's important to.
Things that come easy are almost always not worth much.
I agree! I find it hard though I work a great job but can't see the bull the stuff we are taught at school . I can't wait to help change this paradigm but I have not been in the job that long and need to build my credit with others I suppose you might call it. Then I will help change things I know that. The reason I relate this to my work is a number of people have fallen out with a member of the team! Yes things can be difficult but as your post points out we all need to see want this behaviour brings up in us, what if causing the friction in us. I feel I have identified this a little and am able to get on with things but many had not! Great post here definitely what we all need to observed more. I am every trying and see it more now thanks!
I have seen a different option and by me being in the right place I have the opportunity to make changes not me but as you say reality. I have been given the means to plant the seed as it were. 💯🐒
I understand. It is important for us to observe more of ourselves when we are with others... like in the workplace.
I hope everything works out for you. Thanks!
It will I have the right intention, I just need to be patient. Likewise for you, you seem determined I can't tell you'll succeed. I am anticipating some good posts about your paradise. I want to hear more :) 💯🐒
I will post more, no worries! Thanks!
Great 💯🐒
Although you say do not think you're a good person, but I still think you're good, because I am again good-hearted, hehe
I like your post
That's what you think lol.
That's line was epic, it keeps ringing in my mind, you see people don't want to be challenged into changing, they want it all easy, but nothing good in life comes easy. You must encounter pains... Thank you @diabolika
True that, thanks for reading!
Nice post.I respect you very much because you contribute to steemit.I will do activities like you.I would like to extend the steemit.
awesome story my dear friend @diabolika
Your work is well,,,,, you are very intellengt writer,,,,, i hope your success is very soon,,, i support you #Alltime but i want to you support me,,,thank you for sharing with #Us,,,
Thank you! :)
I think, it wasn't really that hard to observe of who we are especially adults. But people tend not to listen to that inner voice describing them because they are busy looking to others. They are busy criticising, judging and laugh at others that they forgot their flaws, that they think they're better than anyone.
But this is the reality. Maybe happiness won't exist if we don't know what struggles and loneliness truly are.
Then it is hard.
For people who have low self-awareness, yes.
In my case, it wasn't really because I don't usually listen to some external opinion. As long as I don't hurt anyone, I do what I have to do regardless of what people say. I don't listen to them, I listen to myself, hence I observe myself. If I listen to them, there's a possibility that I might believe them, then I'm gonna be lying to myself.
That's what you think lol.
Looking within and letting go of the chaos inside (the very same chaos that thrives in the world) is the way to make an impact. The way to change the world is through changing the self. Be peace to create peace.
Thanks for your post; it's great food for thought. I look forward to reading more of your insights.
dear.&diabolika.
your post is a very nice & amazing picture . .Excellent writing..& i like your writing... thank you...
the bad thing about the human being, is that we never recognize our error, we recognize it when it is too late
and there is no going back.
of the mistakes you learn so that it does not happen again, in my life I have made many mistakes
but I was able to overcome.
True!
We do not love the other, we just love the pleasant feelings he give us. So why can he be the only one in our lives? What will happen if someone else gives us these feelings?
Self-observation is the first step to our self-awareness journey. It is the only way to get to know ourselves and see the real motivations behind our action.