Hahahaha! I didn't see that ending coming.
P.S. This was probably my favorite of your many jokes:
had spoken to one lady for so long the day of the delivery that I was worried I might have married her by accident.
Did you have another ring on your finger, afterwards?
or perhaps on your 11th finger?
I dread to even begin looking for my eleventh finger for what I might see there! ;OD
I was amazed and horrified that I didn't think it had a screen protector. It was so well put on you couldn't see it! I felt like a proper doofus :OD