I loved this post!!!! Thank you for sharing what goes on in your mind when you're feeling these things! I have a son who is also very shy, and intimidated by situations like this. He has such a heart of gold, but sometimes he is paralyzed by what he thinks society expects from him.
When I try to understand how he feels - in order to help him, sometimes he even has trouble expressing it. So - i thank you for giving me some insight into this world. Maybe he feels similar things!
Maybe I can offer a suggestion to help? This is what I told him. I think that sometimes because situations are unexpected - he is not prepared to think quickly and act. So... we think of things that COULD happen... and think of how he could respond. Think of things he could say.
For you... maybe you might find yourself in another situation like this. You could imagine what you WOULD say in this situation.. if it were to happen tomorrow. Pretend that you are just an actor in a film :) There is no anxiety if you're just imagining a hypothetical situation in your own home (or maybe there is... i don't know)
but... even if you don't do something different tomorrow, or next week. Keep imagining certain situations. There are even phrases that you could say in many situations! (so you don't have to imagine EVERY possible situation in the world - that's impossible!)
but maybe just small things to say. or even... instead of talking to them directly - next time the server comes to your table - you can just say to them "Here is extra money to pay for the ladies' lunch. Please don't tell them who it's from."
That will let you bless someone but also hopefully help with your anxiety of being in that situation.
I don't know... just offering some help. I hope that you find a way that you can slowly change the distress you feel in these situations
:)
Thank you for this comment. I am always impressed with people making an effort to say something real. I am trying but in my head things always go better than in reality..that's because, I think, I can not imagine how I feel just the situation like with no emotional charge. That's the thing that must change here, detach a bit :)
The road to greatness will be awkward...
I totally understand... I really do.
That's the one thing that used to make me cry at nights with our son.
How can we prepare him for EVERY situation in the world??? It's impossible!!!
Over and over, people would tell me... Stop thinking about when he's 25. Just deal with today. He's only 4.(he is now 17 haha)
And I would get angry... Because I would think, "How easy for you to say!!! This is something I worry about every morning, noon, and night! I want our son to be prepared for life and in order to be ready for 25.. we need to prepare for 25!"
But they were right. Lol in each day... Focus on the day. Prepare... Sure! But don't let the worries of tomorrow creep into today.
You know what I think? You're going to be fine! And one day, you'll surprise yourself!
For people who don't want to change... They go through life oblivious to the things that they should or shouldn't do.
But you have these feelings and stirrings.... You're just not sure how to do them yet.
When you're ready, you will do it. Until then... Just practice what you would do. (Even after the situation!!) You're just training your brain.
I'm looking forward to your "I DID IT!!!!" post :) I'll be celebrating with you for sure! And until then... I'll be cheering for you!
If I somehow missed that post...please leave a comment on ANY of my posts with the link 😊
I don't want to miss that celebration ! Hehehe
Have a beautiful day!!!