Incredible. I think you really conveyed the complexities of the commodification of sex. It can be intoxicating knowing that people are getting turned on by you, that they are willing to pay to watch you, but in the back of your mind there is this niggling sensation that wait, maybe this isn't right, maybe I should be offended or scandalized by this. (I am using "you" in the general sense here.) But the gratification of being lustfully observed can be quite addictive...
And yes, that sadness, too, that people are striving to fill the void of not having an emotional connection with a physical one, and the physical connection isn't actually physical at all... You are a blank canvas onto which they project their fantasies...
It was a bit addictive at first. And then it grew tiresome. And then sickening. I have been editing books for a living the last month, so if that keeps up, I can just let my cam account go dormant.