Ive had a big break from writing. Its been weird but I think its been necessary, I'd let myself get to the point where words became forced. The perfectionist within me is my biggest weakness and responsible for 99% of my failures, within my writing, art and life as a whole. Its crazy to reflect and see how much I've allowed it to effect relationships and my own mental health, crazier still that its all entirely self inflicted.
I think 'perfectionist' is thrown around a lot as a descriptive word, 'oh she's such a perfectionist', and usually its not meant in a complimentary way. For those that haven't experienced its sting it is hard to understand, hell I don't think I get it even now. It makes you come across as picky, overly critical and terribly bad at commitment. But its hard to commit to seeing something through when you start with unrealistic expectations, if anything its downright depressing to realise that no matter how hard you work it will never be how you imagined.
But realising how detrimental that way of thinking is, thats whats important. Because as soon as you become aware of your problem, you're already on the journey to fixing it. I always allowed the voice in my head to convince me that my perfectionist within was right, I just wasn't good enough at this or that to bring my ideas to life. I was in deep, deep denial. I mean, hey, I've half written so many blog posts that have never seen the light of day. Id get half way and then go back and edit and edit until I lost all hope, all sanity and the original focus of the post. But now I've turned the lights on, as such, in the deeper parts of my brain and realised I have a lot more control than I thought I did.
Im now working on laughing in the face of perfection and setting myself realistic goals. So far so good. I mean if I've managed to write a full post, then it must be working. So I'm going to give you three things that have really helped me gain creative freedom and maybe they'll help you figure out how to help yourself.
Possibly the most incredible tool for pretty much anything. The essence of morning pages is to write at least three pages of free writing, you guessed it, in the morning. This means whatever comes in to your mind; how your'e feeling, the fact that you don't know what to say, no limits. Ive found that these pages really stir up a lot of the dust that has settled in your mind and they have brought me a level of clarity I had never thought possible. But most of all they have allowed me to talk freely about my struggle with perfection and my biggest fears. Because its the fear of failure that prevents me from acting and has therefore been the bully behind my creative block. Now that I'm able to face that fear on paper, I can start to problem solve and break down the habits that have helped reinforce these fears.
Wasn't really sure how to title this so yeah... But it sums it up pretty good. One of the best things to do when you're really really stumped is to 'just do it'. And when I say it, I mean write, draw, dance, whatever; but do it with the intention of making something really crappy, because your expectation can only be exceeded. When I start art in this way or a chunk of writing, I release myself from unnecessary pressure and allow myself the freedom to experiment and its this experimentation that leads to improvement and creative discovery. So yeah, go destroy a canvas, write sentences that don't make sense and wobble your body parts in time with your inner music! Just be an intentional mess!
Coffee, music, baths, others work (if you don't compare yourself), basically anything that inspires you. Because when you beat yourself up it can be very hard to find motivation and inspiration. So spending the time to get your creative juices flowing is well worth the time. Topping up your image pond, the place where you store ideas from everyday life, is a very important part of maintaining your creative ecosystem. This means listening to what your soul is crying out for and allowing the simple pleasures of life without feeling guilty about wasted time. The reason that this helps when fighting your inner perfectionist is because the part of your brain pushing for perfect is also the part of your brain scolding you for spending time on yourself rather than your work. Ignoring this bully and enjoying yourself lessens the grip of its clammy fists and helps you love your way to a better you, one battle at a time.
Maybe this helped, simply putting this down on paper has helped me immensely. Have a brilliant day loving yourself!
Elska xx
thank you for this @elska. the idea come then goes . and when i try harde i just reach a dead end but ill try putting your way to work
All three methods work a beauty for me and which one I turn to will depend on what I need in a specific moment and what is holding me back. I'd suggest trying all three on separate occasions to see which one helps you the most. Fingers crossed you find at least one method useful, good luck!
Thank you. will do so. more grease to your elbow
Keep it up .Good work
thank you 🌹
Everybody needs a break now and then ;) Better one too much than one too little!
very true 😂
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