I understand what you are saying :) The ability to control one's emotions is incredibly powerful. DO NOT GIVE UP! Just don't. I love that you used your baby as a drive. That's it right there!
makes me question the purpose of life
Life is tough on us, to make us tougher. I think a big thing is to learn from every single situation, and grow in strength every time. Eventually your strength would've compounded, and you will be 'bulletproof'.
If a person gives up, will they ever get to that point?