You take beautiful photos! You have a lot on your mind at the moment and your words really touched me...it does sound like a difficult situation you are in with some hard choices to make whilst considering all the factors. I truly hope that you will find a place where you feel you belong and where you can settle. Even us settled folk sometimes struggle to connect with others...people are just too busy and it is easy to feel lost and alone in modern society. I am grateful to have my husband by my side and also a few close friends and family....it stays an effort though to keep in touch. Sending you and your beautiful kiddo much love and happiness❤️