Wow! What a great reply @alexander.alexis. And thanks for the clarity on closing, words sometimes don't depict where we really are.
I think your first paragraph sums it up:
we are born with self-love. Our default state is to look out for our best interest.
I would agree with that wholeheartedly, and I also believe that the self-love is squashed out of us almost since the moment we are born.
is an internalization of the messages found in popular media, that teach you you're nothing unless you're rich and famous and good-looking etc. E.g. music videos, models, superstars, 'the beautiful people'. We grow up wanting to be like them. At some point reality hits us, and we realize it won't happen. Now, we either grow up, realize it was all a sham. Or, we 'self-love',
Many people don't realize its a sham and continue on the path of looking for the validation on the outside of themselves, or never really come back to true self-love, but only the example that has been set for us.
I believe most people don't even know what self-love is, as it is so far from anything we are exposed to in the media, society, or even some of the religious and spiritual teachings. Self-love is intangible to most. Where are the true examples? How do we know it when we see it since it's something we have never really seen before? Most everyone I know who is on a path to conscious awakening, finds themselves recognizing how they don't love themselves like they thought they did. It is hidden from view until we delve in deep to see it. And when we do see it (which I image is incredibly rare) we may not relate, but have judgment on it.
I would wager that narcissism is more popular than self-love, as until we really do the internal work, we are trapped in someone else's interpretation of it.
I truly appreciate your comment. Thanks for engaging the conversation.