Confidence is everything- How I gained mine [part 3]

in #life7 years ago

This is the follow-up to part 2

When I got home from the UK after visiting my friend Mark, where he installed a dating app on my phone, I was sitting in front of the TV when my phone made an unfamiliar sound.

A girl called Bianca had sent me a message.

'You look good in a braided shirt'

I checked out her profile and she looked beautiful.


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Me, 2014 (I still used hairgel).


I was training hard at the time which had increased my confidence a bit but it was flimsy.

Any unknown female contact I still considered pretty much a miracle.

I had no experience at all at seducing anything.

So I choose my reply carefully.

'Thank you, you look really nice in your picture too'.

I don't know why, but it worked and we started to chat.

She was a Brazilian coming to the Netherlands for a year as an au pair. We started to chat about life in Brasil and where she would live in the Netherlands.

The chat turned from hours into days into weeks. I loved talking with her about life and people in general. We had lots in common. Not once did it turn into anything sexual. Which was fine with me, I probably would have screwed that up anyway.

I started to grow very fond of our conversation. It was also giving me confidence. I was in actual contact with a woman and it was going well.

First date


The first time I met her in real life was in the Central Station in Rotterdam. It took her many weeks (of being in the Netherlands) to finally meet me. Not because she didn't want to but because she was a bit scared. (she only told me this after....guess I wasn't the only one lacking confidence.)

We went to the city of Utrecht that day. It was our first real date. She was much more comfortable than I (or pretended to be). We walked around the whole city and we had dinner near the canal.

At night we walked to the Dom tower. It was lit up from underneath with different colors of light. My master plan was to kiss her under the tower. (It was never a plan really, I came up with that on the date itself...)


Dom tower, Utrecht


But when we arrived there I realized that I didn't know how to approach such a situation. Like I said, I'm not very smooth with the ladies, and it was a long time since I kissed anyone.

"Do you want to kiss me?", she said.

That was all the encouragement I needed.

We kissed.

After the kiss, I'm pretty sure I heard her say 'Wow!' under her breath.

I was doing the moonwalk in my head. I can tell you that.

I turned out I still had some magic left in me :)

Confidence +100%.

Not long after the date, I went to the UK to participate in the mud run.

It was a great success and we made it.


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The succes sadly didn't last long. I got very sick not long after coming back. December 2014.

That's a thing that nobody ever teaches to you. Once you start gaining love, you start to worry about losing it. Especially when it's all new to you.

Getting sick would teach me that my mind is my worst enemy and my best friend at the same time.

End of part 3...


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All I can say is wow!! Incredible story. Thank you for letting us in to enjoy this very special time in your life. Your honesty is very telling and quite empowering. With confidence being the focal point of your story, it's truly remarkable that you can bare your soul and share your insecurities and inner most feelings with us, that takes great strength.

Really dig how you're releasing this story bit by bit to show just how far you've come. You're and Bianca's love story will be for all to see on the block chain forever. That's a pretty cool thing.

I also really liked the pics of the mud run but hate to hear you got sick. Your ending is spot on and absolutely correct. OUr minds absolutely are our greatest allies and worst enemies. If you tell yourself you can or can't do something, you're right either way.

Great story brother and you and Bianca have a great night!

Thank you man, I feel pretty much ok with sharing anything at the moment. I guess that's confidence too.

So beautiful to read your story. Please ask Bianca to write her story of that period, that would give a two-way perspective and I think that would be so very nice to read. One day your future children will read this love story and they will love it.

I surelly will! That will be funny haha

I'm not sure if this is a good idea, lol!

Nice journey but i lost you after the mud run how did you get sick and you lost your girlfriend or i will know this in part 4 ?

I tried to make it a 'cliffhanger' but I realised it didn't work the way as I intended it. I'll do my best when part 4 comes out.

It's actually great to hear your love story. It's amazing you were able to find someone you have so much in common with just over the internet.

oh I understand what you mean with "once you find something you love, you're worried about losing it" ...

100% agree with you there. Finding something you love is one thing, but keeping it is another story.

Yes. It is very scary to realise that death will inevitably come. But as Casey Neistat said: "A shared life is a great life". :)

Glad to know that you have found a partner who have many things in common with you...This common interests may draw you even close together and add that extra zeal in your relationship.

Kisses and MUD. Love is in the Air @exyle. Love You my Brother and have a Wonderful Day............................STEEM ON !

Great day to you too!

I wonder how people can think of a place in advance where they would kiss. It is a mystery to me. I think only time when I can plan that is when I am sure that I will kiss the girl, and she will kiss me back.

In other words, if she is my girlfriend already and kissed before, only then I can plan for place. Maybe a confidence issue with me.

I came up with that idea on the fly man. I sort of felt I had to try somehow to give her a kiss....lol man, I'm sure you have more confidence with that stuff than I had back then :)

Confidence plays a really big part when it comes to girls and is essential in the journey to find yourself. You've come a long way, you should be proud of what you've accomplished.

Thank you.

Interesting post, tell me quickly how your romance ended.

I could not tell you, it's still ongoing :)

wow fantastic story to gain confidence @exyle, it's true that while talking or meeting with females it's natural to low in confidence because it's something very unique for every body and once we get some encouragement then we slowly gaining confidence and it's actually very helpful in life, i am happy that you found your dream partner and wishing you both a very happy and cheerful life ahead, thanks for sharing

thank you ever so much!

Loving the mud run photos, you can see the determination and training behind the whole adventure. Looking forward to part 4 :)

Very romantic story @exyle, you experienced a warm feeling for each other and had a great conversation, but the fact that they fell ill, it passed and everything got better my friend :)

lol i am pretty much shy while talking with lady lol thanks for the fantastic confidential story

your welcome! And you will be fine man :)

nice story of your life @exyle and yes you made a right decision at right time and in reward of that you gain confidence and also a wonderful life partner, a Heartfelt congratulations on your engagement, I wish you both all the happiness for the future.

it has excitements, romantism, fun with family execute the beautiful love story, thanks for share it.

@exyle - oh my goodness, it's a beautiful & a romantic story Sir. It reminds my first date too Sir. Therefore, I wish to ReSteem your post.

+W+ [UpVoted & ReSteemed]

Love Stories are a nice beginning. The effort you must make to assure a happy ending means daily effort. Never ever forget to prove yourself to be her best friend.

The effort you must make to assure a happy ending means daily effort.

Beautiful, man. It's true.

Interesting jornery of your love life. Confidence one of the keys to success.

@exyle - That is an amazing story. Almost like a hollywood flick. I get your point about the confidence building though. You really did a great job there - building up your confidence with the lady through dialogue and then executing your 'master plan'. Definitely an inspirational example for all the self doubting Thomases out there! Upvoted full.

I am taking baby steps to becoming a wildlife/nature blogger. Trying to build my confidence through blogs. I request you to take a look sometime.

Regards,
vm2904

@exyle,
Wow an excellent love story is going on... Got a beer and ready to hear the part 3 :D

Cheers~

I have been waiting for this installment for a long time and I never expected it to come with a kiss on first date.

Will there be a part 4 ? It will be interesting to pickup considering how you ended part 3.

2nd part was only a week ago!

I've heard these comments regarding GoT - high praise indeed!

Oh you have no idea, the suspense part 2 created and the pace things move around here.

lol, you make me laugh :) I always take my time man. There are many things I like to blog about. But it will come.

What a cute story. This could be the idea of a really good romance novel :)
I don't​ know you but I​ am proud of you that you made it.

Yes, our mind can bond us and empower us.

you ever notice there are some people you can never feel confident with and other people where you instantly feel confident in a positive way. i guess those are the people that should be our friends.

nice you took it easy in the early stages of communication as that period of courtship is an old fashion foundation , too many jump straight into the sex talk , a corruption from the internet and porn availability , but i have found its best to maintain your innocence

I prefer that too.

wow. Thank you for sharing this little story. I totally agree with you about the importance of confidence. If you believe in yourself you can do anything

I am enjoying this story, mainly because it's honest, straight up, and amusingly written.

I also wish to second @clio's comments!

Thank you, man. I do have fun reliving these old memories. Oo..and I have my doubts about her comments :) lol. ps. I saw you are coming to SF2 just now. Awesome. Will be nice to meet you.

Yes we are heading over for #Steemfest! Same, looking forward to a beer or two with you guys :D

Hehe, 2014 you is so similar and yet so different from 2017 you. It must be the confidence thing shining through in your current photos we see

There is a huge difference. Not only do I have way more confidence, I 'm also 20kg fatter :) but working on that, lol.

You are indeed. Seriously though, you can see the difference in how you are in your face. You seem so relaxed in later photos!

Getting sick would teach me that my mind is my worst enemy and my best friend at the same time.

This is very true, being sick gives you too much free time, and we either play video games(if its not a physical injury) or think about some really deep philosophical stuff. If you're bed-ridden or caged in your house, its even worse because when you're finally out of it, you feel that a lot of things have changed or you've missed out on it.

The "do you want to kiss me?" Part was so sweet and endearing it brought tears to my eyes!

What a great story. I am looking forward to the next part but hope it is going to be another happy bit.... 😐

I'll do my best :)

man congrats to you in gaining confidence and i guess a slight thanks can be credited to the dating app ;)
and the mud run seemed to be fun .
and yes will be waiting for the part 4 :)

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Great story thanks for sharing :)

Wow, Very romantic :)
I will read the other part of your story, Stay in love! and LOVE the Mud run, wish i could try that.

This was an amazing blog post you had evolve a lot over the years and its quite awesome slowly and steadily the confidence grows itself :)

but she left you because you got sick? I didn't understand... I am Brazilian as well and honestly.. with Brazilians you should be more up front.. we like man with attitude... :-) this is my main problem living in UK.. I would say 97% i did the first step.. 3% I pretended the guy did :-) You are good looking.. don't understand the lack o confidence! go @exyle!

She didn't leave me because I was sick! In fact, we are still together. Believe me also when I say I'm way more upfront now :)

hahaha cool! so you learn the Brazilian way of enjoying life!!!

Thank you for your confidence! This is a pure life lesson

What a love story ^.^

so much romantic and true story, your confidence boost up it, thanks.

whoa wow, what a nice looking guy! I wish I was that girl...
Oh wait! I am!
Love you babe :)

life is all about living in confident..and the most importantly we should learn to handle the loss and that is the difficult part. We all are so afraid of loosing...
But if we think positively no matter that outcome we can be happy all the time..

Your story is a great life experience and we all can learn a lot from it..
Thanks and waiting for the next part

i recognize myself for a big part in it! well done!

nice post sir really helpful

Good anecdote of life the first quotes may be the worst although a few times are special!!!

amigo #resteemia at your service

'That was all the encouragement I needed.' hahaha that's funny :) you waited a long time. nice story @exyle

ReSteemia
'UpVoted ReSteemed Commented'

Interesting story of your love life.

Looks you have great time with your friends, i know this event its so crazy fun :) nice photos, great edit of church , cheers !

Congratulations @exyle
MinnowsPower listed your post "Confidence is everything- How I gained mine [part 3]" as one of the top 10 commented posts of the day...!!!
Life experience, the story which is unforgettable, nicely sharing with Steem society.

MinnowsPower is not a bot, I am a Crowdfunding Hybrid
One small UpVote of Yours build MinnowsPower and MinnowsPower will Not Forget Your Support...!!!

alot of spicy details ,i love it :).

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