When people meet me for the first time, they usually think that I am a very extravert woman who loves to party. After they start talking with me, they find out immediately it's the opposite. They will get very surprised that I am actually not so talkative as they thought I would be. Not that I don't talk at all, but I just talk when I think that I can say something meaningful. I wouldn't be able to tell someone what I think about the weather. When the person is suddenly talking about a very interesting topic, then I talk a lot. I remember in the past when I worked as a waitress in a restaurant as a part time job as a student. My colleagues and a friend of mine often asked me after work to join them to the club. I always rejected because I just don't the crowd, music too loud and drunken people. I also like to go to bed latest 12 PM. If you ask me how often I have been in a club, you will get shocked. I went to the club only 2 times in my life. Those 2 times were when I was engaged with my husband. How I felt after going to the club? I never wanted to go to the club ever again.
Not into socializing
Most introverts( MOST, in case you disagree) don't like to socialize much. We can socialize, but we have a limit. Introverts only talk when it's necessary to people or when we think what we say has added value. They have no desire to have a small talk with strangers or people they know. We are not rude, but we just want to be alone. It doesn't means that if someone ask me for help, that I wouldn't want to help. I am a helpful person, so being anti-social doesn't mean I am rude or don't have feelings. I also don't talk much with other mums at my kids's school. I just bring and pick up my kids to and from school.
Not having so many friends
Introverts don't have many friends or they one good friend or no friends at all. I have to say I have no friends. Do I feel lonely? No, not at all. I can go easily shopping or travelling without having a friend with me. I had one friend in the past, but she talked way too much and didn't let me talk at all. She can text me so many things with Whatsapp, but when it was my turn sending her a text message, I don't get a reply or I get a reply after a few days or a week. I don't think I can call her a friend, right?
My sister is an extravert herself and said once that my life sounds boring. She even thinks I feel lonely and recommend me to hang out with other moms from my kids school. She doesn't understand that it is something I would avoid for sure. If I would get invited to meet some moms at someone's house, I would maybe go once. But once invited I would like to go home after an hour. My sister and me are so different. My sister really needs people around her to be happy. While me, I can feel happy being alone. I am not shy as extraverts think. Introvert has nothing to do with being shy. Introverts aren't shy at all.
Not asking for help
I usually don't ask people for help. I try to solve my problems alone. It's not that I don't want to look weak when asking for help. I just feel when I ask people for help, that I disturb them, and that is something I don't want.
Misconceptions about Introverts
People often think that introverts are week and that we are shy and feel lonely. None of that is true. We are actually strong because we don't need people around us to feel happy. We are not easily getting depressed. Being alone feels actually as if we have our best friend with us, which is ourself. We can easily go to dining at a restaurant alone or travel alone without feeling bored or lonely.
Hello @fathin-shihab, I am a selective person, I do not have empathy with many people, but when I have a friend, I understand that person who is with you in the good, the bad and respects you in every way, calls you to a place away from others to tell him that you must change, other people are only known.
Fathin we are never really alone, we listen to the conversation of others, the music in the street, etc., I like to be alone, this is an advantage, when I want to leave I do not have to wait for anyone, I decide when, how and where, spectacular for my taste.
Happy day:)
That's true @martha75, we are never really alone. :-). Thank you for sharing and have a good day!
To be honest in the past I was a very talkative persona and I do liked that phase of my life and as time passed by I guess maturity got over it and slowly I am getting a hold over my affections and emotions resulting to be on the way to being introvert .
Yes I do agree with the points of yours and yes ideas really explodes within the self and that is kind of good thing and I do liked this paragraph
I guess I am kind of both at this point of my life ;)
Yes, I guess age also has to do with this. Thank you for sharing!
Wow! Great and amazing article @fathin-shihab. I really loved your post. Chilhood is always good for every person but as the time passes every nano second, we change by our 0ast experiences and from our mistakes of life, as it can't be repeated next time or in future!!☺
No, I am not introvert at all. I got a little more silent over time and I am not seeking so much attention I used to during my younger adulthood. The biggest change is when I am alone. I like to be alone much more than back then. When I was twenty I was afraid to spend even hours alone and I never went to places all by myself except groceries. I got a bit more picky with people and I am the first person leaving a gathering whereas in the past I was often the last. Things changed. When I am with old friends, my family and relatives I do like talking a lot. Also with the colleagues I know from work. With them I can talk endlessly :)
Thanks for that little self reflection.
To be an introvert sounds good and to be extrovert as well.
I also realize that I spoke to a little bit more people in the past than now, but I wasn''t into clubbing at all and could easily do things alone. But how you are now sounds to me like you've become an introvert :-) but I understand that age also has to do with this. The oldee we get, the calmer we get I guess. Thank you for sharing!
People keep thinking the way they want to doesn't matter live the life in your own style ;)
I guess I'm both.
All you describe of the introvert could be me.
But being at a party, bar, work etc. with people I don't (or hardly) know I always have something to talk about. (then again; if it's boring it doesn't take long before I move on)
Maybe you are an extraverted introvert or an introverted extravert :-). I can indeed see you at the bar talking to a stranger(s). Thank you for sharing and fijn weekend!
That must be it yeah; an extraverted introvert. Don't need to have people around me to feel good. But if they're there I'm ok as well.
Have a nice weekend you too with husband and kids.
Hmmm.. Sepertinya saya masuk kategori extrovert, tapi tidak juga dech kak, sering suka sendiri juga, ada pilihan ditengah - tengah antara keduanya tidak kak? :D
berarti kamu extroverted introvert :-D
Thanks, friends, you have to learn a lot in the way of life. From this post I learned new things and thank you very much and greetings from me..