i will answer in a more generic way, i hope i do so cause i always end up typing a lot!
We all know that everyone has his story and is unique so each and every case i am gonna deal with differently. There are many factors to judge a person,a case, an act a behaviour but the main perspective and what i am at least doing is that whatever i do i try not to harm the others and if i can help them too. I say that cause i saw the You may do bad things sometimes, things that upset or hurt people
Now i dont know exactly how and hurt them and upset them because this is not entirely wrong, you may ''hurt'' or ''upset'' someone with the truth and after that he may become a greater person but if you mean hurt them or upset the in a bad way with ''bad'' inner motive then thats wrong.
Or more importantly, are we being selfish in denying people valuable, painful learning experiences?
I think that again depends one many things. Do we have the time to talk with this people? are they willing to talk to? are both you and them willing to move forward or learn something out of it? what is consider valuable learning experience? i may make it sound more confusing but what i am trying to tell you is that because of everyone is a unique person there isnt a specific way to follow or something certain thing to do. Have patience,love,kindness,respect and try not to hurt others for your own good, instead help them for that same thing
once again i typed a lot.......... and i could type twice what i said i will stop here :p
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply...
I love to hear you're living from a place of not trying to harm others... We need more mindful behaviour in the world. I think what I meant by us doing things that upset or hurt people and not meaning to is that, when this happens, we're usually acting from a "wound" or something we're carrying around too. Eckhart Tolle describes them as "emotional painbodies" that get triggered by a circumstance that instills the fear that created that "painbody" in the first place. So I guess I'm questioning the idea that anyone truly has bad inner motives... Or whether we're all just behaving from these places of hurt. Emotionally tender areas that trigger behaviour that isn't true to who we are. And whether this perspective makes it easier or harder for us to have compassion towards other people - which @denmarkguy pointed out is great as long as we practice self love in the process.
yes i got that and i may :P be somewhat of a cruel or absolute person in this matter as i think whatever ''wound'' or anything else you been through in your life i dont really care about and nobody does at least in the first sight. Thats why i say the ''not try to harm others'' If you have this as a value then everything else will be better. Sure emotion and not logic runs through our veins so thats why many people behave according to this ''places of hurt or wounds'' . If they just think about it without using too much of their brain ( and i dont mean this in a bad way, i just say its simple) they will find out that everyone has a wound of something happend in their life so nobody is obligated to ''understand'' them or make them feel special.
So to be more straightforward not anybody has truly bad inner motives but that doesnt mean he cant do something bad, it depends on a lot of things ( a simple one do this to that man or you are dead)
I believe not everyone is behaving for these places of hurt and nobody should. You can either move on or get stuck. When i say move on, you will never forget those wounds and in some cases you may think a little more or have doubts but you wont be closeminded
As fas as it concerns the cmpassion thing its not hard to have it to people that want to change or to move on but the others should have to understand it by themselves first( ofc you may have compassion for them too but depending on some of their actions you may soon abandon it)
thanks for reading my tiresome answer and you took the time to reply