The ambulance never made it and as I carried his body in my arms, he breathed his last. It is 3 years today since my father passed away, and yesterday his friend, our neighbour, and father to my childhood friends passed away due to the same reasons as my dad, prompting me to write this story.
June 18th 2014, I was home to see my father. He had been ailing for a long time and was in his final days. I was flying back to New Delhi that afternoon as I lived there at the time and had everything ready.
As we woke up that morning, he seemed weak and wasn't able to move around much. He could barely utter any words as I tried to converse with him. My mother and I felt it might just be a matter of days before he's no more. There wasn't much that could be done for him at this stage. His liver had failed and there wasn't anything the doctors could do for him anymore. This was it!
It was noon and suddenly it seemed like he wasn't able to breathe normally anymore. His body seemed limp, unresponsive and his breathing progressively slowing down. I called one of the best hospitals in town, located nearby (fortunately just 0.7 miles away), and requested for an ambulance.
For whatever reasons, there was some confusion and they had no ambulances available as all were out on an emergency and gave me a number for a private ambulance operator. But after a few minutes of waiting he confirmed he couldn't make it. We had an in-house male nurse at the time to attend to my dad. We decided not to waste any more time and decided to carry him ourselves to my car and take him to the hospital.
I held my dad and lifted him from under his shoulders and the nurse carried his feet and we slowly made it towards my car in the parking. Just as we crossed the main door to my house, I heard him take his final dying breath, and in that moment I knew he was gone. I was scared and felt the blood rush to my head.
I refused to believe that he was no more, not yet! We slowly placed him into the car, my mother sat behind us and the nurse supported his head, his eyes were shut and body starting to turn pale and we buckled him to the seat and rushed! My mother who had long endured, kept comforting me all the while asking me to be brave!
In under 3 minutes we were at the hospital and as we reached the entrance to the emergency, our family doctor also the hospital's head of general medicine just happened to be walking out. I called him to examine my dad and he did so immediately and confirmed that he was no more. We took him into the emergency room and further examined him under ECG which confirmed once and for all that he had passed away...
His sickness—cirrhosis of the liver had gotten to him and yesterday to his friend.
His last rites were performed on the same evening at our local crematorium. It rained hard on that evening, but not hard enough to quell my thoughts.
I lit the pyre and after a while I just couldn't stand there and watch it burn. I was in distress but this was inevitable. I was aware that one day my time would come too!
I walked down to the river nearby and sat down on the steps going down to it. One of my closest friends accompanied me in the pouring rain, she held my hand tightly and kept consoling me that everything is going to be fine. My relatives nowhere in sight!
It took me 3 weeks to wrap up all the paperwork that follows after the passing of a family member. We cleared the mortgage to the house and other liabilities left behind after his passing. I decided to bring my car back with me to Delhi and drove back the 1550 mile journey instead of taking the flight.
Few weeks later on a weekend, my friend and I sat down at the coffee shop outside the Taj Hotel and I narrated this incident to him. My biker friend is an incredibly talented, former Colonel as well as a decorated soldier in the Indian Army. He took the opportunity to narrate how his father passed away due to a heart attack as he climbed the stairs in their house. He was climbing behind his father and managed to catch him as he collapsed and died in his arms. He said and I quote, "There is no better way to die than in the arms of your children."
As an Army soldier he has seen it all. As a traveller I have stood witness to life where I've lost a few friends in the worst ways possible. One can die in so many tragic ways. I've cheated death a few times myself.
Wouldn't we prefer to rather die peacefully and in a recognisable physical condition? I certainly agreed to that and felt that despite whatever pain and suffering my father might've had to endure in his final days, dying in the arms of his son was probably the best way to go. A luxury not everyone in this world has anymore and something that we cannot choose for ourselves! Just as we didn't choose to be born, we cannot decide most of the time, when and how we wish to die!
Someone elderly told me once that, "parents must always go before their children and it is the correct order to come to this world and leave it one day." Looking back at these moments I feel that they were both right and I hope one day to leave in the same way or perhaps atleast doing something I truly love!
Happy Father's Day Dad and RIP wherever you may be!
Thank you. I'm off to see Dad now at the nursing home. He is 98 and has dementia. It's not easy. But like you said it is inevitable and one day my time will come.
Peaceful and drawn out or quick and possibly violent? Who can say? I am not afraid though. There is a light burning deep inside me that lights the way. My father is struggling though. He is not accustomed to being helpless. he has always been able to "figure" his way out of difficulties. But he can't figure his way out of this one. So he is not all peaceful. I wish I could help me. He's fighting a losing battle. You were so fortunate to be with your father like that at end of life.
Thank you for your words. You gut me at the point when you talked about dementia. My beloved grandmother died on the sunday of easter 2016. It was very hard to see her mind getting more and more destroyed. Leaving just a body... without her mind and all the things I loved about her.
In my heart she is still my loving grandmother.
And that´s how everybody should try to keep the loved ones in mind.
Sadly, the images of the last days are kinda burnt into my brain. And I have to concentrate to think about her, how she was years before.
THAT was my grandmother!
Not the "body" what dementia turned her into...
Thank you. Dad's gone now. But he became very peaceful towards the end. Just let go. He was always there for me. Even at the end with dementia taking its toll. Don't know what I might have done to get such a wonderful person as him for my father. But I am truly thankful.
Thank you for sharing this with me. It is hard indeed and I hope it gets easier for you somehow and for him with time... It's hard for people who've always figured things out for themselves to go through such situations... Wish you both the best!
I'm touched. Truly.
My condolences, to you, your family and friend. You're a strong person, I can tell. Your story has brought to light some thoughts I have been having lately. I've just wished my Dad a happy Father's Day and not being able to do so in person makes me feel horrible. Circumstances are complicated, but I'm thankful for having him around. I spent three weeks with him in April this year though, and so that's some kind of consolation for not being with him now.
After a freak attack he endured from a criminal last year, I've always been scared of losing him. He almost lost his life. When I heard of it I was disturbed, hurt, disappointed in myself for not being able to protect him, angry at how another human being could do this to him, consumed by fear of losing him, and a whole lot more complicated emotions.
I wished him a happy Father's Day today by phone, but deep inside I was thanking the powers that be for his life.
Thank you for sharing your story. It touched me.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I'm glad that your father is safe and sound now!
Feels like getting an ambulance took forever. I am sorry to hear about this - especially the fact that a friend of yours had to go through the same. I think losing a parent is one of the toughest things to go through. Not sure how I would handle that - hopefully they will stick around for plenty of time.
Deep post. Thank you for sharing - I didn't know about this.
yes losing parents especially at young age is very traumatic.because they are your closest
best friends, and when we are young we don't appreciate them us much. but only when we grow we start to appreciate them when its too late, made me cry writing this
You are right! Thank you for reading and commenting!
Thank you Shannon!
Sorry you had to go through this terrible ordeal, @firepower.
I've had my fair share of loved ones passing and it never seems to get easier to talk about. But you showed courage and resolve in the face of a very difficult and stressful situation. I have the utmost respect for you and hope that you received (and will continue to receive) nothing but the best in your life from that point on.
Bless you, sir and thank you for sharing this tragic, but courageous story with us.
Thank you @ezzy for your kind words and understanding and for stopping by to read my story! Appreciate it a lot!
Being a daddy's girl your words have touched me in a very special way. It is a brave step to share this moment and your feelings with us. I am absolutely convinced that he knew you were there and passed away in peace. That surely can't take away your pain, but probably it helps to deal with it. Again, thank you for sharing your experience with us. Big hugs!
I think the same thing..
Thank you Marly for taking the time to read this and respond! Appreciate it!
Such love, very good story.
Μay he rest in peace.
Thank you so much!
Your're welcome~
Honestly, amazing and beautiful, friend. Thank you for sharing this. It makes me more willing to share some of my story more at some point as well.
I think people often forget just how precious the last stretch of life really can be, and often how healing that time can be for family members who are estranged or in pain. It's a sacred thing. As painful as it was, there is something right and incredible about having been able to be there with him as he passed. May he rest in peace, and may you find the consolation you need to keep going with your father gone.
Thank you Kay! Appreciate you reading this and writing to me what you thought afterwards!
@firepower, My heartfelt condolences for your loss. your narration touched a chord in my heart somewhere deep down and pulled some memories of my own.. It is very painful... May his soul rest in eternal peace. and God bless you with strength to bear your loss.
Thank you for reading and commenting @topdog!
Such love!
Indeed!
Very touching, thanks for sharing. He lives on through your story.
Thank you for this comment!
This was very touching. As someone who has lost parents I am deeply moved. Your portrayal is accurate and heartwrenching. Thank you for sharing something so personal and hard to talk about.
Thank you so much A.Kitten for sharing that and understanding! I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave me a comment!
"There is no better way to die than in the arms of your children." That was the best part! Good one.
Thank you so much!
Brought me to tears... Its awesome how you stayed strong and supported your family after this, your dad would be so proud of you meg.
Thank you so much! Something we have to do in life and do it right I guess...
This is a touching story. Thank you for sharing such a memory.
Thank you so much! :)
This is a really beautiful story, man. And well written. It's been two and a half years since my dad died. Mom was with him and I was there within the half hour. Mom and I spent an hour or two with him in the hospice room as his body cooled down and I imagine his spirit began it's journey (in mystery). Was reading recently that it is when we live with death that we truly live.
Thank you for sharing your personal story with me.
I'm compelled to agree. I also think it is true.
Thank you for stopping by.
A pleasure. Looking forward to more.
My sincere condolensces to you, your family and friend that lost his dad. The same thing happened to me last year September and I understand the way you people feel. Death opens a door to a new start (no more pain, sickness or negetivities of our world). Bless you all.
Thank you for sharing this with me!
Welcome, lets stay in touch
thanks for this heartwarming post. really reminds me that my dad (and mom) have limited time left on earth. i will be sure to spend more time when them once i'm back home.
ps. your dad had a pretty cool moustache
Thank you so much! :)
haha yes! :D
This is a truly harrowing story that hs touched my heart.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope the world gets better from now.
Thank you! It is getting a little better by the day! :)
Sad, but beautifully told story. RIP to your father. It is a nice touch to remember him now, and in this manner.
Thank you! It is indeed a good way to remember him I think...
Thank you for sharing.
Your story reminds me I am not alone.
Thank you for reading! :)
for sure!
This was a beautiful post. On May 23rd it was the fourth anniversary of my father's death, surrounded by his three daughters, his wife and stepson. You can't ask for better. He chose to go on that day, telling the staff that he wanted the plug pulled, so to speak...
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing this with me! It mustve been hard and I hope you were strong for your family.
Yes, the three sisters together...
Μay he rest in peace... thank you @firepower
Thank you Marianda!
RIP , I had the same experience with my grandmother's last breathes she was a very kind woman, and she passed away in my arms her last words was : "did you eat your breakfast ? is your brother ok ?", she was near death but still she was worried about us, she just breathed 3 times and gone , I understand your feelings at the moment I hope patience for you and happy after life for your father , god bless him
thanks for sharing this story! may her soul RIP
I was able to share my dad's final hours, and hold his hand as he passed. It was a heart-wrenching moment, but aside from the birth of my kids, one of the most significant.
wow! that's incredible in its own way. Thank you for sharing that with me!
meep
May his soul rest in peace
Thank you dude!
After reading the story I have become very emotional. During reading I can imagine the picture as it touched my heart may be because it's you wrote it with your heart.
Thank you so much! :)
That sucks. The death of someone close, especially a parent can really mess someone up. But you have succeeded in your endeavours and are a blessing to your parents. I'm sure your dad is very proud of you :)
Thank you Andy!
:)
Everyone has to die one day but they would be more alive if they are remembered after their death.
Always remember your father and think he is with you whenever you feel weak or fall alone.
Thank you!
Really it is a touching.
My condolences, to you and your family.
Μay he rest in peace.
God bless you with more strength.
thanks dude!
May his soul rest in peace 🙏🏻🙏🏻 @firepower
thank you! :)
thankyou for sharing this -- my dad is sick with liver disease and currently stable and ok -- i hope he can survive a lot longer - love and light -David
I'm sure he's going to remain fine! Dont worry. Let's always hope for the best!
Thank you for reading!
Yes a very sad sad story but I agree, it is the best way to go. I'm sure your dad would be so happy that you wrote this.
Thank you!
RIP...
my deep condolences..!!
where ever he is rest in peace..:)
thank you for sharing you story with us..:)
Thank you
tears ran down my eyes while reading this.This story remind me my mother's story how she hold that pain until her last breath went out.she was suffering from pancreatic cancer.She passed just 4 month earlier.So i just want to tell today's youngsters that please respect and love your parents beacuse you will never get another one.you will never know their sacrifice and value till they are gone.R.I.P :'(
Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you continue to find the strength to deal with this difficult situation!
What a touching story. Thank you for sharing it with us. Losing a parent is always a difficult thing. I cannot imagine the pain of a parent losing a child.
Thank you! It is hard but then we have to accept the way of life as it is! :)
First of all Happy Belated Father's Day
Being a father of 6 month old daughter, one line caught my mind "There is no better way to die than in the arms of your children". I would really like to.
Thank you!
As an Indian and as a hindu , I can tell you you are a manifestation of your fathers soul...He may have passed away physically...But his soul is still ignited within you... Its a pleasure to see an Indian posting with really inspiring contents.....Keep it up...Peace n love
Thank you so much!
Well said, sir
amazing story!!!!!!!! thx for sharing it
Thank you!
Such an Heart touching post... It's a great thing that you posted this hear shared the moment with us May your Dad Rest In Peace
Thank you!
We feel great support in our life due to our parents. I am sorry for your loss, very touching story.
Thank you!
Your story brought tears to my eyes, well told and honors your father's memory🙏
Thank you!
brought a tear to my eye, very good story.
Thank you!
I lost my Dad as well...I miss him!! Happy Father's Day to both of them...R.I.H.
Thank you!
Incredible post that touched me! And so, parents should not live longer than their children, it is incredibly painful!
Thank you! You are right!
my his departed soul rest in peace in heaven :(
Thank you!
May he R.I.P.
Your father would have been a proud dad today.
Thank you!
Respect for the heroes that can before us. o7
I agree
Such a moving story. Luckily my father is still with us, but my mother died when I was young. I always regret not being with her on the day she died. It was good that you could be with your father to the end.
Thank you for sharing this with me!
how can the dead be truely dead when they still live in the souls of those who are left behind.
This is life and we have to move with it.
You are a brave boy and he's seeing you from the sky and blessing you for what you are today !!
Thank you!