You are a true person. To still go over after what has happened and pay your respects and then even after the reply you got, you didn't trash/bash her and still extend your condolences. In cases like this I see people act out of anger more and lack respect completely. You are strong in that way, which is why you have people respect you so much. Some people just can't deal with this kind of truth. I can't speak for them, and I see it as their loss and our gain.
I hope you can heal from this in good time, I know how you are feeling and it isn't lovely.