"Tell Me How You Did It?"
The above question gets hurled in my direction quite often. To start with, I love questions! I am constantly wondering about things and posit all manner of inquiries both to myself and others on a daily basis. Genuine inquiry out of wonderment is one of the most fantastic things about being a human, for we can seek out the answers to our questions through a multitude of different thought-deavors!
The specific type of inquiry that I am speaking of is the, "You did all the hard work to figure it out, now tell me your secret so I can achieve just what you did without all the sacrifice and effort." type of question. I'm reasonably sure that anyone that is doing quite well at anything has been asked how they've got there by people.
Recently, I was having a conversation with a dear friend and he expressed a desire to live a healthier life. I began with telling him that my success with any change starts with reasonable goal setting and a serious commitment to the achievement of that goal or goals. There is no room for a lack of impulse control when one is trying to accomplish something big, and if you are not ready to put the work in, you are just deluding yourself as to your desire to actually change. Rather, you are just coveting someone else's success or not ready for the journey. Being honest about your motives is one of the most important steps to change.
As the conversation progressed it became clear that he wanted me to help him by just telling him what I did. The thing is, what works for one person might not exactly work for another. Not to mention the fact that I'm a big believer of having some skin in the game when it comes to accomplishing goals. Why? Because if you don't have to put the work into whatever it is you are trying to achieve, then chances are you are not going to appreciate your result.
Take my Steemit blog for instance. I am pretty sure that my first post made a penny. Was I despondent about that? Heck no! Someone had paid me for my work, it was one of the most reaffirming moments of my life. Steemit, like any other worthwhile endeavor is all about the work your put into it. I spent countless hours writing, learning to format my posts, interacting with other Steemians, reading countless posts to figure out how to do things, experimenting with content to develop my shtick, and tons of other tasks. There have been frustrating days, disappointing days, and exciting success days. I absolutely love the challenge of it all!
So, when someone comes along and just blurts out: "Tell me how you did what you did so I can do it too." I bristle a bit. Don't get me wrong, I love to help people, and have no problems sharing my knowledge to help those that are seeking to grow and develop, but I am kind of over the whole instant gratification crowd.
Yes, I have lost a ton of weight and kept it off for years, but it took me an entire lifetime of not feeling well and a drive and desire to discover how to feel well, not to mention a ton of work! Yes, I earn a bit of money off the Interwebs from writing, but it took me a ton of time, work, and investigation to get to this point. And yes, I love to help people grow and succeed, but from now on if people want my insight to just help them bypass the important part of succeeding at anything, well, welcome to the obstruction!!
So, in the name of personal growth, I am going to make a change too. One of my personal struggles is enabling the people that I love by doing a lot of the work for them. I truly desire for people to thrive and succeed. Where I need to change things up on the personal level is to do better differentiating between helping and enabling. My natural impulse when asked by someone for help is to give it freely. From now on I am going to take a mini-pause and reflect whether the help I am about to give is going to empower a person or enable them.
And now I am off to do a Mind Enhanced Dance, which is totally a thing, and has nothing to do with all of the coffee I have consumed this morning! Hope you all have a fantastic Sunday!
Want to read more @Generikat posts?
One thing I will take with me from my project management training is the phrase "It starts with me". As a manager, you are there to make things happen, motivate, inspire, lead...that is your job.
I apply the same thing here. Post what you like to share with others. Make new friends. Network with people. Nobody is going to hand you a $100 bill each time you post, from the very start.
Get out there and make things happen!
Thanks for sharing.
Ooh! You are super motivational in your writing! I like it!
And I totally concur about putting the work in when it comes to any endeavor, it's nice to meet someone else that applies the idea. Thanks for such a glorious comment!
You did it by being uniquely and wonderfully YOU! And the "ask-holes" can do uniquely and wonderfully themselves, one would imagine. ;)
Maybe "ask-holes" is too harsh, but I giggle about it, so it stays. Basically, it becomes tiresome and ridiculous to be asked and then not to have your advice followed.
Your post makes it clear why people who want to get rich quick, sell seats to "how to get rich quick" seminars. There is always a buyer for such bs.
I think Ann Landers is the one who said that most people miss opportunity when it comes knocking, because it is disguised as hard work.
Thanks for your wit and style! The dry creek and the ruins really made me smile.
Naw, the "ask-holes" moniker is perfect! LOL, I might have had a giggle too.
Thank you so much for your kind words, I am kinda having a rather testing week, so I appreciate your awesomeness more than I can express. 😊
Hope your week improves <3
That is such a fine line to follow and one where we normally find the side we don’t want first.
You are an industrious, caring, and motivated individual Kat. I know you will find your balance.
And you are so amazingly excellent lydon! Thank you so much for just being you😊
I totally get this. I have brought over a fair number of folks to Steemit. I am always willing to help and support those. The ones that get me are the ones that have been on YouTube and Facebook for years and never made a penny. Yet when they come over here and get two bucks for their first post, and they are totally disappointed. Hello?
Ah. Gratitude is another aspect that I find lacking in this world. I've ran into some that blow hours of their lives on FB and Youtube but think that Steemit is a waste of time or too hard. I'm trying really hard to find the balance between mentoring people that need it rather than wasting precious hours on those that feel entitled to everything. It's a challenge for sure, good luck!
They don't call me Curious G for nothing. Mr. Question. Though mine are usually the fun kind, not the "ruffle the Kat's fur" type. Those can be annoying. (And I'm sure I am at times too O : )
I like your take on things. I too have a bit of this problem. Being too nice sometimes. Though I think I prefer it that way, even if taken advantage of now and then, than being a general horses arse. I DO bring out something in folks, they're always telling me too much info about their life and such, usually right after I meet them. Someone told me it's because my lower teeth show when I talk, I smile a lot, and it's NOT because I don't have 3-point eyes ?? What do you think of all that, my favorite Ref'brare?
Your take on the whole work ethic thing on the site is great. I think folks have heard "come on over to Steemit, you can make money", particularly if they look at the trending page. Which as you and I know, has NOTHING to do with reality. As you say, there's been a LOT of my posts at 0 to 1.00 in the last 15 months. There is no majic pill, (or good spelling of magic). As you say, hard work, lots of time, and talking to people on here. And that would be my biggest piece of advice. Comment, comment comment, then comment some more.
WOW, I wrote a thick dictionary here. So will sign off. I'll vote tomorrow. I'm trying to fill my little inflatable pool. It sure drains fast. Wish the vote structure was a little different. For some reason, mine takes DAYS to come back to normal. Whatever that is. "Got any cheese to go with my whine, dd"?
Well, I better go to bed. Have a nice night, though if you're smarter than me, that is not an issue right about now. I'll chat with you lateron.
Le skillette de 'ome
Oh, I so do love questions and ask tons of them every day, questions don't bother me, entitled or enabled lazy people do!
Having never observed your facial features in action, I don't feel as if I can make an accurate assumption as to your niceness and affability. Based on your overall jovial demeanor in our digital sphere, one has to assume that you are pretty much the most excellent creature that possess a most genial deportment.
I too lament about the swift drainage of the SP pool, my ability to tip people for their creations is pretty much my favorite thing about Steemit! With SBD's being worth more than a $1 USD, I smile with glee as I disperse full upvotes to those and posts I adore. It makes me a bit morose when it drains to the point I have to pause for a refill.
Your dictionary posts are never too thick, rather more Goldilocks like in their composition. They are part of the "majik" that keeps me glued to my browser day after day! Hopefully you are having a fantastic day, I just watched a really excellent fifth grade basketball game, it was like football and basketball put together!
Votre Sincerement,
Votre Brare'chat
I think your schtick is pretty good.
That's the problem with being too nice. People always want to take advantage of you. And you feel bad for them because you're a caring person by nature so you end up helping out too much. I find myself in the same boat sometimes. Let me emphasize sometimes. Usually I am able to summon my inner prick and tell people to do the damn work themselves. All depends on the situation.
You like my schtick!!! YAY!
On a more serious note, working with the public has helped dampen my take advantage of my kindness gene, but apparently I need to be taking notes from the master! I cannot, as of yet, summon my inner phallus, but I have hopes that it will one day rise to the occasion. And yes, I went there and am not repentant about it, LOL!
Also, you are super cool and I am more than a little bit fond of you, so does that mean you are too nice?😜
Shhh, don't let everybody know I really am nice. I have a reputation of a grumpy bastard to protect.
I, too, struggle with the balance between helping and enabling. Over the years I have done too much of the latter, and hindsight is always so much clearer for me than foresight! This is still an ongoing battle for me.
You and me both my friend! But we will get there, kind of like we got home from garnet hunting, the journey was just a bit unexpected and full of twists and turns, but we made it in the end! lol! Hang in there!!
Oooh, that was an effective analogy! I like it!
I can appreciate your perspective. Thankfully, nobody is asking me for advice. They do ask me to explain things. My parents gave me a shirt for a recent birthday gift that says "I can explain it to you. But I can't understand it for you." People have to put in the brain effort themselves, lol.
I do come up with lots of questions that I'd like to ask a reference desk librarian. But I think they would just tell me how I could find the answer, rather than give me the answer. And then I lose interest in the question. That's how I think most folks are when they ask anyone to explain something. They don't want to put in the effort.
Oh HH, I was in a rather ranty mood yesterday, lol! I was somewhat worried later that I came off a non-wanting to help harpy of meanness. My post was more about a frustration with people that just don't care, not that I don't care. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure to digi-know! I have often thought if there was a hh internship where one could follow you around as you combed the earth for tasty weeds and observe your meal prep magic, that I would totally be your number one intern!
Thank you so much for your commentary, this librarian would be happy to not only answer your questions but help you find any information you needed, any time😊
Rant on -- the folks that can't be bothered to care are all around us, lol. My dad knows more things about the outdoors than I ever will. My sister and I joke about wanting a "Pocket Daddy", so we can ask him questions anytime. I was his weed and garden intern. And he was an intern for his Ozark grandmother and uncles. My mom was a city gal. She is still entertained by all the weeds and nuts and other nature flora and fauna, flotsam and jetsam, that show up on the dining room table, lol. As long as it's not on her ping-pong table! Then we are all in trouble! ; )
I think most of the questions that I have for reference desk librarians are questions without answers. Or answers that nobody wants to hear, lol. Or that would get a reference desk librarian to rant! ; )
Oooh, I would so love to just listen to and observe both of you in action! And having a mother that is serious about a ping-pong table really piques my curiosity, there totally has to be some family lore there, lol!
When I am donning my librarian hat, I am never annoyed or irritated by genuine inquiry. I love learning about things and helping people find answers to their questions. People that are too lazy to put any effort in, arrogantly think they are entitled to monopolize my time at the expense of others, or want me to enable them by constantly doing work they could do themselves make me a bit ranty. Not awesome herb whisperers from Oregon😜
Great thoughts , very well explaination I appereciate you keep it up I wish you all the best
Thank you for your kind words!
thank you for your positive and beautiful thought ;)
Thank you for your positive and beautiful comment!
yes, it does look very beautiful @generates, an incredible sight. I feel like I really want to go to that place. Surely the air is very fresh there. I really like the beauty of nature and the beach. Are you on vacation?
Nope, that picture was from when I took my Grandma up the hill to Mt. St Helens in Washington state. We are still buried in snow, so no vacation here, lol!
Very nice to explain some real facts about life.
there are many obstacles in the way of our lives.there are many critics.we need to do everything according to our own policies and keep moving forward. . Great article & excellent post dear @generikat
"keep moving forward" and think of it when I am struggling, thanks for the reminder:o)Thank you so much for such a lovely comment @rahulsen! I love the saying
Wow, a very beautiful landscape, it looks like a high mountain, and you take a picture from afar. What is a place for tours?
If that's true, it's amazing. I really like the beauty of mountains and camping in the mountains. Thanks for sharing a natural beauty @generikat
The picture was taken on the way up to Mt. St. Helens in Washington State. My grandma lives not far from the park, and she hadn't been up to the mountain in awhile, so we drove her up for a look. It was fun! I like being in the mountains too, and am happy that I get to live in them! Thanks for stopping by my friend!
upvoted nice information, i liked this all,, i am fallowing you, if you like to check my post, sir, i am new here, not much experience, also guice me ,@drake5
LOL! I am a ma'am, but that's all good, and thank you for the upvote! Just keep reading, learning, and asking questions and you'll fit in just fine:o)
Wow
Really this post is good...
I given vote also nd follow u
Nice post
Thank you kindly!