Have you ever felt invisible?
Have you ever felt invisible, as if you don't really fit in. In a group conversation you often say something valuable, and then you are ignored or just not noticed? Your try your best to talk sense, and to fit in with the rest of the conversation but it STILL feels as if you are not heard?
Perhaps you are part of a group of people I call misfits.
A misfit is and intelligent person, with a lot of common sense, but they are just not noticed. Usually these are strong confident people, and they are able to do anything, but they just don't fit in anywhere really.
These kind of people make friends easily, but they are very weary of the people they choose as friends. If they have chosen a friend, they will usually go out of their way to do everything possible to support that friend. These "misfits" do not put up with nonsense, and they are not selfish, but people often think they are. They do not follow trends or try to stay in fashion, but they are sometimes stepped upon, because people easily take advantage of them. These type of people often feel lost, as if they do not fit in anywhere, but they often have a burning desire to fit in, and because they are NOT noticed they are often left behind.
Here are some more characteristics of a "misfit"
- These type of people often feel angry at the world but in reality it is just the frustration building up of not really fitting in anywhere.
- They are often seen as rebels, because most of these people have to fight to have normality in their own little worlds.
- These people often prefer to be alone, and they don't mind being alone. They don't need many friends or people to assure them who they are , because they can stand on their own two feet.
- They judge themselves harshly and are prone to depression, because they have such high standards, they often push themselves too hard, and feels as if they never get anywhere.
- These type of people are sometimes overly sensitive. They get hurt easily when someone judge them and perhaps the fact that they are not noticed, plays a great roll in this.
- These type of people often need a specific purpose in life and they spend hours per day to try and reach their own self set goals. They will constantly try and carry on endlessly until they reach their goals. They are highly intelligent people and they do NOT give up.
Ever heard the story of the ugly duckling? These misfits, are the ugly ducklings of the world, and if you are an ugly duckling like me, just you wait...one day soon enough, you will turn into the most beautiful swan.
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OMG!!! That's really me! Especially when i pick up my kids from school..... im just the mom who doesnt have conversation with anyone (chit chat).... i just have different interest. Im not good in small talks like: nice weather huh? ... its just not me..... im just there to pick up my kids...... maybe they think im arrogant? Im not sure.....
well, I'm not a small talker myself. But I can see the usefulness of it, especially when I see it being employed by my wife. She is particularly adept at doing small talking that people open up to her naturally. I see small talking as a skill that I can never acquire. sob sob
I'm hopeless at small talk too but as with everything, practise makes.. Well if not perfect, somewhat less awkward, haha. My mother in law is simply amazing at it and like you, it was through watching a master at it that helped me appreciate its power (and desire it for myself mwahahaha).
It is a difference if you want to be good in small talks and want to make more new friends :-). I myself do not have that feeling of wanting to know people to be friends with. I also dont feel lonely when im alone :-). I can easily go to a restaurant all by myself and i love shopping alone. Maybe im weird. Its not that i dont care about other people. I always have a helping hand if people need my help. :-)
I don't think you are all too weird like that. I mean the spectrum of extroverted-ness to introverted-ness is huge. There's nothing wrong with you. It just means that you need more "me" time than the rest of the population.
I'm coming to the conclusion that nobody really likes small talk. People instead use it as a shield to hold other people at bay until they prove themselves trustworthy enough (or perhaps interested enough) to move on to medium talk, if not big talk. It might be worth the awkwardness of small talk if you have the chance to make a new friend. It's astonishing where genuine interest in another person can lead the conversation.
But of course, sometimes you just ain't got time for that, or you just don't gel with people, and that's totally cool too. :)
I know, people use it to start a "real" conversation. But i prefer to skip that part and directly go to the real conversation. But i am myself not a big talker and only talk when i have something valuable to say or when i have an important question. I also don't feel like making new friends in real life I guess, after finding out that in my past many people misused me. Friendship should be from the heart, helping eachother. Not only when you need someone. I helped friends in the past, but when i needed them, i couldnt knock on their door. Its sad, but its the truth.
People can indeed be disappointing. I understand your desire to protect yourself from further hurt. Thanks for your response to my barging in on your comment!
You just wrote about story of my life! But do I feel like misfit, no! I think my problem, and problem of so called misfits lays in overvalued ego. I can be great friend but in return expect same devotion and that's almost impossible. Older I get easier is to simply accept that I am not "standard" person, my mental flows are totally different, sometimes erratic. There is one more flaw in our character, we expect too much out of everyone and everything!
I am a misfit according to your description, not sure if that's a good thing or bad but I guess there's no way around it, I am going to have to live as an ugly duckling then till my moment if it comes.
I have been waiting for years....lol...still nothing...
Wow, you describe me
Yes. Agreed. I feel invisible too like a Clay Aiken fly on the wall.
Ha ha ha....Clay Aiken fly on the wall....you are hilarious!
then we are the same ....lol
Yes we are the same
You are no misfit, you are my child and you have always been wonderful. You do get moody, who does not. So dont think there is something wrong with you.
You are an excellent teacher and have braught up wonderful sons so nothing to worry about.
some of my posts feel like that xD
Don't feel alone...I have been here for nearly ten months and I am still struggling. Now with all the minnowsupport some of the steemians that has been here for a very long time is pushed to the side to help the minnows. But we just continue like normal. Somewhere it will rectify itself again like always...
Thank you @giantbear,
this is words are more worth than steempower. Feel hugged ;D
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Feeling like a complete “misfit” so glad I found this, I really needed this today! ❤️
You are definitely NOT a misfit. You are perfect just the way you are!!
Thank you! I am new on here and feel so greatfull that I found your account! ❤️
Africa life is great
Very good - I tend to end up with the "misfits" as friends. They are the ones who fascinates me and do not bore me - the ones with a different preseption on life. They know who they are and feel deeply - nice piece
Yes! I find misfits are the most trustworthy because they're not wearing a mask to fit in. In a way, everybody is a weirdo (I mean that as a compliment) and has their own unique perspective, but some really really hide it away. :/
Exactly...that is why you have me as a friend...I am a misfit.
Usually these are strong confident people, and they are able to do anything, but they just don't fit in anywhere really. @naz722
"misfit" i am not .... its the strange weird so called normal people that i have to deal with that are "misfits" and make my head hurt...
you guys are cool lol
here this is how the normal peoples brains work .... so broken...
https://steemit.com/science/@thelifeofbrian/people-deliberately-avoid-information-that-threatens-their-happiness
https://media.giphy.com/media/xUPGcmrdRkCaZ5qZ2M/source.mp4
Wonderful post about misfits. I don't specifically think I am one myself. However, there have been times where I have felt like this. I do believe that there are situations where everyone can feel they are a misfit.
The Real HAPPINESS Is Invisible To The Eye But Felt By The Heart ❤
@giantbear - Though exactly not a misfit, I do have many of the traits you describe! I guess that makes me a misfit also in the 'total misfits' group. LOL. The quote from Stephanie and Yellow chick picture is just too good. Great work. Thanks for sharing. Upvoted
do i feel invisible among other people? i do. sometime that happens even when i am with my family. as u said it looks like i am a misfit. but i am not so good at making friends. i used to try but i dont anymore..... sometime i feel like i hate other people. hate is a strong word but i cant find any other suitable word.... i know its wrong and i never show what i feel..... but i cant help feeling it.
sometime i feel so depressed....
and now i am just an indoor person who barely gets out of the house....
Sorry to hear that, mate. I don’t know you, but chances are if your life has gone that path, the cause lies within your genome and is not your fault at all.
thanks. i guess thats supposed to make me feel better.....
Well, I hope so. In my life, the realization that human relationships are at bottom governed by genetic predisposition and 'compatibility' between the individuals in question, rather than their conscious actions, was a very positive development.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel exactly the same thing....I prefer to stay inside the house, and I am not good with people....weirdly I also don't like talking on the phone. I also get depressed and sometimes just going to sit at the ocean helps a bit to get me out of this mood. I don't have many friends, except online. I prefer online friends...ha ha
we like online people i guess because we can bail on them if something goes wrong..... cant do the same thing with actual people who are around...
Yes... and I am a misfit! ;)
Me too!
Hmm, I don’t fit anywhere really, but I also don’t see anything and anywhere attractive enough for me to be fitting in. To me it’s rather simple: if you have high personal standards, you’re not going to fit anywhere specifically. Things around will bother you: shitty music, hypocrites, bigots, selfish and greedy people, loud people, and computer games with a joke for an AI (lol).
So I gave up the idea of ‘fitting in’ long ago in favour of living in a reality of my own, where I embrace the best of all cultures while rejecting the worst and slimiest.
I have never tried to fit in...I just follow my own rules and go with the flow. You are right about the shitty music, hypocrites, bigots, selfish and greedy people, and loud people. I am extremely sound sensitive and can't stand irritating people, so I stay away from people as much as possible...lol
Heh, are you one of those people who enters, say, a room or gets on a bus or train, then immediately tries to identify the most disruptive individuals before proceeding as far from them as possible? I know I am. Loud mouths, irritating sounds, bad smells and attitudes send me off like a missile.
Yes I have :))
Excellent description. Describes me very well. Introvert is the word I normally use but misfit fits a little better I think.
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I've been around a long time, and I still haven't turned into a swan! Now I'm thinking I'm meant to rock the ugly duckling thing. Haha.
I think one of the worst feelings is, being invisible surrounded by all your "friends"
I'm another misfit. Maybe we should set up a group called Misfits anonymous.
Very interesting read here. I would say I fit most of the misfit description; if not all of it. Most days I could care less about being noticed, but then there are those days when you try really hard at something and you are like "Damnit. Jim!".
I don't mind being alone 99.9% of the time. It's too much work to try and figure out how to have a meaningless conversation. People in the South can small talk all day long and I am standing there thinking "What is the point of this?".
I think the lack of small talk prowess is why people may shy away from having a conversation with me. If we are going to talk, *Let's have a meaningful conversation. I think sometimes it's just too intense for people to talk to me. They walk away emotionally drained from a real talk like I walk away emotionally drained from small talk, lol!
It happens frequently even between our family...
The important thing is to know that we have value, although the others refuse to recognize it...
Good post!!