I totally understand what you mean. It's always there and always will be, however much we try to hide behind a mask of smiles. This post today was hopefully the first step on my path to letting it not rule the rest of my life.
One step at a time.
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This is true. In time, though, more of the smiles become real and genuine out of genuine happiness. This I learned when my first marriage went all to shards.
You have made an excellent first step. Shame lives in the darkness and runs from the light. You're breaking bindings today!