Last night Michelle and I got into a bit of a tiff and some criticism was handed out. I must admit, at the time I felt rather offended. Even a bit bruised ...
It took some soul searching and self-reflection, but I realized that I deserved it!
I don’t think any of us like to be criticized. Criticism can leave you feeling hurt and sometimes even a bit worthless.
Unfortunately we can never get away from being criticized at some point.
Which is a good thing!
As long as people are doing that, it means you are living life. The time to start worrying is when you don’t do anything, just to avoid getting hurt.
Sometimes we deserve the criticism we get and can learn from it. The secret is to be able to distinguish between criticism that has merit and criticism that is just meant to upset.
When you realize you can’t be right all the time, it gets a easier to listen with an open mind when someone criticizes you. That could also be the beginning of becoming more emotionally intelligent!
Our first instinct is usually to defend ourselves and the action that caused the criticism. We might even return the favor and give some criticism back.
SO how can we handle the situation with grace?
Don’t get angry or go into defensive mode.
Step back for a moment and think before you respond.
If you really feel you don’t deserve it, tell the person calmly why you feel like that.
If you can’t be calm and rational, rather walk away. Getting into a shouting match will only create bad feelings. Both of you might even say things you don’t mean and create more trouble
Try to see it from the other person’s point of view
It’s not easy to think that someone else doesn’t see you as the wonderful person you are. So you have to decide. Is this someone you would normally trust and listen to? Someone whose opinion matters to you? Or someone who is a serial criticizer? Then decide whether it’s worth getting upset about.
Learn and improve
It might take a while to accept, but you can treat it as a learning experience. By learning we improve ourselves and make the world a better place all round.
I hope the next time I get criticized I'll be able to handle it with grace and a lot of emotional intelligence!
Hmm.. All these are a bit difficult to do but I believe it's all part of growing up and becoming wiser and stronger while we do. Thanks for sharing. I learnt!
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