We have a new fish for the tank.
I know my house is turning into a bit of an animal sanctuary but I am starting to doubt I will ever have children.
I myself am the products of IVF treatment back in in the early 1990's. The images below come from the information booklet my mother was given.
The reasons for not having children are not what you might be assuming. Wheels and I have no physical or fertile boundaries preventing us from having offspring. I would have to be screened to see if I carry the chromosome that would pass Wheels condition into any children we had but other than that sexy time could be any time!
Seriously though, I have never had the urge to have a family other than a partner. I feel pressure from society that I will be incomplete without a child. Is this really the case though?
Animals, to me, make my life complete. I do not see what I am missing out on. To say that when I am older I will be lonely without children is nonsense to me. As a carer I have seen some families abandon their elderly relatives as they find them a 'burden' so in my eyes having children does not guarantee a social old age. I have seen animals light up people's heart and bring warmth back to someone who has felt alone and isolated.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure children are great, I am just not maternal.
My friends are starting to have children and tell me I will be a good mum and that they are sure I want a child really. This only adds to the pressure for me. Why can't the response be, 'Good for you, I'm sure you will still have a wonderful life'?
There are similarities between caring for animals and children.
- They both need affection
- They both require feeding and watering
- They both need attention
- It is more peaceful when they are asleep
- They are up to mischief if you cannot hear them
- They makes us worry when they are unwell
- They will cost you money, lots of money
- You talk to them even if they don't listen
- They will give you great amounts of happiness
- They will make you laugh cry and scream at times
Ok, most animals may not live as long as humans but they give love unconditionally. The jury's still out for me. All I know is children aren't on the cards for a long while and I am completely content to have my animal sanctuary.
I know Wheels isn't bothered about having children. My main worry is I'll look back and regret the decision I made, whether I end up having children or not.
Society puts an insane amount of pressure on women to have babies. I am not sure why this is as it's not as if we are in danger of dying off as a species. Animals whether you have children or not are members of the family. You're absolutely right that they need love and tending and the return on your love is always doubled with pets. Congrats on the new fish! I have a little blue betta myself and he is a joy to watch dancing around his tank. Thank you for sharing your story. I know a few women who are not convinced that they want to be mothers and I think it's important that people realize the choice is always up to the individual and there are no wrong answers.
The strange thing is my parents put no such pressures on me really. Slightly surprising as I am a single child albeit the product of science.