I’m currently reading Jake’s Choice the sequel to the YA Christian novel (and movie) To Save a Life. And while the story of Jake feels oddly realistic in a multitude of ways, there’s one aspect that (in my experience) feels downright made up!
Amy, Jake’s long-distance girlfriend, texts her mentor regarding a young girl in intermediate who she thinks is being physically abused by her parents. She texts “I need some advice”, and so far in the book, she’s done this twice.
We, as humans, are terrible at asking for advice. We’re also terrible at asking for help. Why though? Well that’s something I haven’t figured out yet.
I remember one of the things I needed to learn early on in my marriage was to allow Kyle to help me. They were small things, like not rejecting his hand if he extended it to help me off the floor. I don’t remember why I did it. Maybe I didn’t want to be indebted to him in any way, no matter how small the favour was.
I’ve gotten better though! And this weekend, when I went to pick up a new gas can for the BBQ, I didn’t even bother lifting the full one into my boot. I went straight to the gas guy and asked him to do it for me. It made me happy to think that he probably got a bit of an ego boost at being able to help out a girl like me.
Asking for life advice is different, and for some people, harder than accepting physical help. Maybe it’s because it implies a weakness or a failing. Are we so in competition with one another that we’d rather take the slow route, learning from our own mistakes, than building on the backs of others that have made the same mistakes before us?
I’ll admit, Christians are a lot better at asking for help than others, which makes sense. It’s the foundation of our salvation to admit we’re drowning and need help. We’re also then told to teach and do life with other Christians, using the bible to correct and train.
Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God’s way.
2 Timothy 3:16 MSG
You know, I think the world would be a better place if we asked for help a bit more often, specifically when it comes from a place of genuine caring. Obviously, you must have people in your life that you can trust to ask advice from. For example, I’m not going to as Kyle’s advice on certain girl-centric things (well of course I do but it’s with a grain of salt).
When you do life with other people, you’re surrounded by a support system that wants you to succeed. When you share your struggles, you find yourself being cheered on. And what’s more! You’ve got people praying for you. You reach further than you would by yourself. Oh what a world!
