12:49 am.
You're still awake. You should've gone to bed hours ago to rest your head so you can feel better in the morning. But you can't sleep yet not when you so clearly feel all the emotions going around in circles and pulling you to a saddened state.
The events of the past days must've taken its toll on you. I know you're trying to ignore how bothered you feel because you are not talking to your sister. You don't know whether to go on ignoring her or to confront her for what you think she's thinking about you. That's not you, though. So you stay quite, as usual.
One by one, the emotions inside you is taking turn unfolding giving you the worst feeling. Why do you feel so useless? Maybe because you know without anyone telling you that you are stalling on life. You gain courage as easily as you lose them. Everyone's telling you how great you are and compliments you with what you can do but you don't hear them, do you? You think so lowly of yourself that you refuse to see those were actually true. You didn't let yourself decide which path to take while you're on the crossroad. You let someone else do that for you. Pathetic.
Frustrated. Because your wings are clipped. You want to do something more but life limits what you can only do and it upsets you too much. Tears. You shed too much of them already. You did what you have to but it won't leave you, no. If you could only..
Pity. You see how your friends get on with their lives. They get married, get pregnant, have a family. You wonder why you can't do the same. There were those guys who wanted you but you're the ever hopeless romantic girl who believes of Knight in Shining Armor. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?
Hush now. It's going to be morning soon. Well, technically it already is. You see when the sun rises, it marks a new beginning. A chance laid out for you. You only have to grab it, if you're brave enough.
And you are
very nice...stay positive!! :-)
🙂
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