'Honey, it works in books, it's a nice story and all, but it just ain't real.'
I was trying to get it out of my friend's head that the jackass she was seeing was a diamond in the rough. I don't know him, but I was quite skeptical to the idea. He could just be a jackass, but we never want to admit that, do we? We're not content to see that and move on.
There are thousands of women on this planet who make it their life's mission to save some poor innocent.
'Oh, but he's afraid to love', 'It's his parents' fault', 'The bad part is a defense mechanism' – there are thousands of excuses for bad behavior. And thinking about it, what's the big surprise?
I was just thinking about the classics we go back to, what we consider romance, you know, 'Jane Eyre', 'Wuthering Heights', 'Pride and Prejudice'.
And I was shocked to realize...they're not really that romantic at all. Now, I know what you're gonna say, I'm a fan as well, I read them as a child, but hear me out.
1. Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights)
Although it would be a bit difficult to classify Heathcliff as a Byronic hero, since he goes through so many changes and is such a strange character, he does fit a certain pattern – the passionate man who shuns humanity because he himself has been shunned and ostracized.
Heathcliff is a most peculiar character, throughout the book. He is an orphan boy, found and adopted by a rich man, Mr Earnshaw, who grows to love him more than his own son. He befriends the man's daughter and is hated by the man's son. After Earnshaw dies, his son Hindley inherits the property and torments Heathcliff, cutting off his education and making him work in the field, like a servant.
This prompts most readers to pity Heathcliff and root for him. After all, who doesn't love a good rags-to-riches story?
Heathcliff falls in love with Catherine, Earnshaw's daughter, and becomes obsessed with her. They have a strange relationship, she loves him, but marries someone else, due to Heathcliff's low standing. Again, we pity Heathcliff for also losing the love of his life. When she marries, he runs off (thinking that Catherine looks down on him) and comes back a rich man. He starts seeing Catherine again, marries her sister-in-law only to hurt Catherine's husband. Catherine eventually dies, giving birth to a daughter and he is left lost and despondent, mourning his lost love for the rest of his life.
And throughout the book, Heathcliff is a pitiable character. And yet, he's not. To most of the other characters, he is cruel, appearing as the Devil himself. He abuses his wife, whom he only married out of spite. He hates his son, is cruel to him, uses him, and he even calls the boy's mother a “wicked slut” to the boy's face. He beats Hindley.
At a later part in the book, he imprisons Catherine's daughter, Cathy, in his home, and forces her to marry his own son. He only allows her to leave to go see her dying father and attend the funeral.
It's a hard book to explain, especially in such short space, as it's filled with story, with characters, with intrigue. But the point is that throughout, Heathcliff shows his evil time and again and as a result, he is hated by most of the other characters, except for Catherine and Hareton (Hindley's son).
Again, this is a rags-to-riches story – the reader feels bad for Heathcliff, for being so abused and mocked due to his low standing. We pity him for losing his beloved Catherine and his vows of love and care for her win most readers over.
His undying love for Catherine and his struggle to prove his dignity as a human being are his two redeeming qualities. But he is, by and large, a bad man. Not the romantic hero, after all.
2. Mr Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)
Ah, the eternal Mr Darcy, the lovely bad boy. Although he's cold and aloof from the get-go, we can't help but fall in love with him, just like the protagonist of the book. In the beginning of the book, he refuses to dance with Elizabeth (the main character), suggesting she is not pretty enough for him, which she finds funny.
Throughout the book, he is painted as a cruel man, who's way too proud, and then the story is turned on its head only to reveal him as a good hearted man, a bit proud, yes, but in the end, one of the good guys. Besides, a match for Elizabeth, both in manner and intelligence. So, we grow to love him by the end.
He's kind of the jerk with a heart of gold, you know?
Besides, he is ideal for Elizabeth, as they are both hasty to judge, haughty and they're both forthright. But, unlike her, he is also obsessed with his high-standing or at least, he's really aware of it. He even goes on to explain to her what a good match he is for her.
Buut this shouldn't cloud our judgment, as he does truly love her, deep down. Apparently.
3. Mr Rochester (Jane Eyre)
God, how I loved this guy when I was a kid. But then again, what reader didn't?
It was actually Rochester that got me to write this whole thing. I was just thinking that although a seemingly romantic hero, his story is quite horrible.
Again, here is this cold, strict man, but with a good heart, and great intelligence. Again, despite his arrogance in the beginning, the two main characters seem to like each other a great deal and begin spending a lot of time together, eventually falling in love. But of course, things can never be simple.
After Jane saves Rochester's life from a fire in his room, he runs off for a few days and brings home a snottish wealthy woman, Blanche, whom he intends to marry. He even teases Jane that he will miss her once he is married.
A romantic hero, indeed.
At this point, the poor Jane can't take it anymore, confesses her love, and he then proposes marriage to her. Because why be forthright with your feelings? So out-dated.
The big day arrives, Jane is all ready to become a bride, despite some strange happenings (such as a mystery woman ripping her veil in two in the middle of the night). But the ceremony is interrupted by the revelation that Mr Rochester cannot marry, as he is already married. We discover he was tricked into marrying a mad woman, whom he now keeps locked up in the attic.
He asks Jane to run away with him, but she doesn't, because despite all of this, she is a good, moral woman. And she runs away, in the middle of the night, heartbroken.
Honestly, how is this guy a romantic idol? And yet, how many women swoon over him...
In the end, Jane returns, only to find that the crazy woman has set the house on fire and died. Rochester's alive, but he's lost a hand and his sight in attempts to save his wife. They agree to never part and have kids.
It's the point where most readers go 'awww'. It's called karma, though, and he kind of deserved it.
4. Christian Grey (50 Shades of Grey)
Ha. Bet you didn't expect to find this here. Me either, but if you think about it, it is the modern equivalent to the books I've mentioned before, although a lot more erotic. But hey, the times they are a-changing, no?
I'm sure you all know the story. Here's this good, honest girl (more or less) who falls in love with her rich, mysterious employer. It seems the attraction is reciprocated and they soon begin a relationship. Yes, it's the less 'pretty-in-pink' type, with whips and loads of leather, but he doesn't have a wife in the attic.
At least, I don't think.
Well yeah, there is that. Again, this story has women all over the globe swooning over it. After all, who doesn't want an ultra-rich, passionate dude who's also a bit kinky? Come on...
And once again, we have the jerk type, more or less, who is painted as a romantic hero.
The diamond in the rough we spoke about earlier.
We tend to be dismissive of books like the Grey trilogy, as cheap erotica. But that isn't what has made it a phenomenon. Nope, what sells the books, what makes so many women want to be Anastasia Steele is is precisely this idea that Christian Grey is the bad boy with the heart of gold. The troubled, handsome stranger, just there for you to rescue.
The 50 Shades meme above is applicable to all the stories I mentioned, in the sense that if this was a regular guy, behaving like these men do, we'd all agree he's an asshole. Seriously, if your daughter told you she's in love with a man, who can be a jerk, and tests her love, but has a heart of gold – and also a wife locked up in the attic – what would you say?
Wouldn't be too pleased, would you...
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Heathcliff always stuck me as a freak. No helping that guy. Mr. Rochester is definitely a grey area, but I do think he deserves some credit for the fact that he was tricked into marrying a crazy woman and that hampered his entire life, so he has a little bit of an excuse to act kooky when faced with actual love. Darcy I will defend because he only acted like an asshole in the beginning, but after they figured each other out he stopped being an asshole - he actually was the rare diamond in the rough. The problem is when the woman just keeping waiting around hopelessly for ages waiting for the diamond that will never appear. Christian Grey I can't speak for, never read it, but I feel like there is a lot less depth compared to the complexities of the other messed up guys, but maybe I undervalue the trauma of being your mother's friends lover as a teenager.
In conclusion, Darcy is a halfway decent model, Rochester semi-decent, and the rest assholes.
No, I agree, I had mixed feelings about putting Darcy on here, too. But, I figured he has some dickiness in him, too, so..:D
I haven't read the Grey books either, but I figure it's quite a easy plot to understand, you know? besides, it's a modern example. Not as complex, though, you're right.
Don't get me wrong, I love these guys, and this post doesn't change that, but I was just noticing how they're not that...great, you know? :)
Haha! Yes, agreed. Iconic characters are only iconic because they are a mixture of good and bad. Too good and they'd be boring.
Hi honeydue,
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Ow, thank you very much!
What I've seen reading these stories, is that women will always like the bad and arrogant guy, no matter how excellent people you are, the rebellious boy always wins all the girls, what sad news for those of us who are good
And for the girls...I've seen it in myself, I'd much rather go for the bad boy, although I know it's stupid. And the bad boy...well, he's not good for you, obviously!v :D
Well then we all have to be bad, that's the secret hahahaha.
Yeah. You can't fix people and you can't change him. With your friends mentality she may as well date a frog and hope he turns into a Prince.
Well, yes, but I figured everyone has the same mentality, at one point or another, in their lives. We all hope for the impossible, I guess...
But you're right, there's no changing people. And it's stupid to try to go against that.
We all do. I have as well. We have to learn from our mistakes. We don't take advice well if it goes against our beliefs. That's human.
Good to see a bird with a head on her shoulders...
😂
respect.
I take that as a compliment :P Thank you! :D
It most certainly is.
Just found your post randomly and I have to say I agree - to a certain extent. Media does influence our opinions, views and even actions, but in my experience people who actually want to be completed, "fixed" by someone are the ones who are most likely to jump into relationships with the "good bad guy" that just needs to be loved by the right girl and in the right way in order to love. It's also to do with lack of self-confidence, as these types of men are usually deemed "unwinable" and if one wins over his heart, she percieves herself as special (when she should have believed she was in the first place).
This is an awesome read. It's interesting how our perspective of certain characters changes over time. Thank God for queer hearts, instead of pining for "bad boys with hearts of gold", I went pining for "awesome women with gentle hearts" instead.