I think it is because sometimes I feel I don't deserve it, but am getting to a better place in my head now. My ex husband put a kibosh on me a lot of the time too and kept reigning in my ideas, or disgreeing on stuff as I tried to include him and it never worked. But now I am on my own, I have a few routes I will try and be a success by my own definition. Both my kids are in school full time from the 15th Sept an d I will have time to do stuff when I'm FULLY AWAKE! yay!
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That is so amazing. It's wonderful being free and not suppressed, isn't it?!
Yes its quite a new feeling, but I am definitely enjoying it :)