Being able to listen well may be one of the most important qualities you can have as a human being. Those who can listen well to what the other says are often very much loved. Beloved in all circles and layers of society. Most people are busy talking. Those who speak share their thoughts, opinions, beliefs, or share factual information with another. Often we talk so much that we forget that listening is a very good option too.
If we talk , we won't be learning anything new. Who listens, find out what another is doing, feeling, thinking, or needs. We could say, every human being has two ears and one mouth. Listen twice as much as you talk. Matching (the thoughts of) the other makes it possible to ask questions that match the experience of the other.
Asking questions not only opens additional doors in the world of your interlocutor, they also testify of interest. This creates a bond with each other. After all, sincere attention is a source of connection. Try to prevent listening just to speak as soon as you have the chance. Some people are very skilled in taking over the conversation as soon as the opportunity arises. The essence of listening is learning the needs, feelings and thoughts of your Interlocutor.
I have a close friend, she feels since college (which she graduated in 2011), she's become 'less social.'
Everytime in a social situation, she tells me 'I feel like I only talk about myself...'
She then comments that I seem to engage more with other people, including strangers.
ASK QUESTIONSHere's the secret (as you said @itissimple),
At the restaurant I went to yesterday, a young girl came up and offered to make my daughter a balloon animal.
How did I engage with her? ... very naturally and sincerely asked: 'How'd you learn to make balloon animals? How long did it take? Do you want to become an entertainer? Dumb questions like that, but she appreciated I listened and cared even though I'll never see her again.
Totally agree, key is to listen and ask questions.
meep