Some fellows simply couldn't help being envious of those with finer things.
Ouch. Try as I may, having a beard is a mountain that I may never conquer. At best, I could look like Fu Manchu. I don't know why it is but hair eludes me even though I have quite a thick forest up above. Am I destined to roam the Earth with only but a few stubbles? I've tried ointments from far away lands, but the cure has yet to be found. Oh, woe is me!
A cat farting on your face? How would that result to any facial hair? Is your good lady already preparing for some Red Tent humor?
Haha, I think she was implying that what I thought of as my fine thatch if hair was nothing but a fine spray.
A beard eludes me too dude, I get the patchiest thing ever which grows at different rates in different areas. Ah, one day maybe :0)
We might be able to make a competition of it! To see who is able to grow a fuller beard within a decade! I'm sure those bears out there will get a kick out of it since it takes them a day or so to grow a forest on their chin.