I remember many times in the past when I used to get mad or upset because someone didn't respond a certain way I was hoping for. It makes sense since humans are such social creatures. Most people throughout their entire lives aren't conscious enough to question why they do the things that they do on a daily basis. As such, they are controlled by the subconscious patterns formed in their mind by the circumstances they unintentionally found themselves in each day.
One of the things that I think people should be more aware of is how we allow our emotions to control us and dictate how we respond or feel. I feel like people never really give it much thought, they just feel a certain way and accept that that is how it is supposed to be, and then act out of it. Due to this unconscious behaviour toward our emotions, most people self-inflict a lot of pain on themselves that could be avoided.
For those of us who aren't conscious enough to realise when they get angry or upset, they will act everything out and feel as if they have no control. This would be false. We do have control, it's just a matter of changing your perspective.
Why do we give such a huge and unfair responsibility to our friends and family, anyway? It is not their job to keep us happy, these are not their emotions. Yet, we place so much weight on how we allow ourselves to feel on other people and how they respond or act toward us. This is a very silly thing to do.
When we rely on other people to keep us happy, we effectively have no control over how we feel. We hand everyone we know the keys to the kingdom.
We cannot control other people. The only thing that we have control over are ourselves. Acknowledging this, it makes sense then that we should only rely on ourselves for our own positive emotions, and not others.
I realised this a few years ago and it fell on me like a tonne of bricks. I realised how silly I had been acting and that it was completely unreasonable to give so much control to other people. Not only does it make no sense for me, but it is also incredibly unfair to those people who you have given this massive responsibility to.
Become self-sufficient. Everything can be taken away from you except you and your experiences. Realise that it is you alone that is responsible for your happiness and begin to act accordingly.
When you fully grasp this concept, you will live a largely happier life. You take control back from everyone else that you unfairly gave to them, and that they didn't even want anyway. I'm speaking as if this is something that everyone feels and is aware of, but in fact this is something 99% of the world has done to each other without even realising it.
So next time you feel yourself getting negatively impacted by another, remind yourself that it is solely YOUR responsibility to generate your own positive emotions and no one elses.
Thank you for reading!
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Totally on point! Great post!
Thank you Tereza! I'm glad you found it of value :)
You hit the nail on the head with this post @jeremyc. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and they feel vehemently about something and you ask them why they feel this way. Most have no idea why or how they formed these opinions
Thank you @seareader1! And yes, something like that happens a lot and there is usually no good reason behind why they feel that way, except for the fact that they're emotions are dictating it. Doesn't make much sense, right?
We're just wired that way. We've got to break the stimulus response pattern by becoming conscious before it happens, and for most people they will not learn how to do that for most if not all of their lives
You are so very right in stating that most will not learn for most if not ever in their lives. It is a hard pattern to break from. At times I find myself responding. Can only keep trying to become whom I want to be.
Yeah man, we all do it! No sweat. Well done of being aware of it :)