So I find myself stuck. I love the idea of blogging here, I can see the potential of Steem to make a difference in my life, and many others. But I just don't know what to write about. This post is just going to be me letting what normally just swirls around in my head out for a change. I have no idea if anyone will really read it, but I don't think that matters, I just need to think out loud for a change.
My life is pretty boring, my interests are also pretty boring. I am not creative, no good at writing short stories or painting or photography or singing. So I find myself sitting here contemplating my life, and just how boring it really is. I have done interesting things in the past - owned my own business, done a bit of travel (not anywhere near as much as I would like). But for the most part, I just feel bored, and boring.
Is this the life I wanted as a kid - no. I wanted to be living an interesting life. I wanted to travel lots, but its really 13 years since I've actually been anywhere. I wanted to be financially successful - but 10 years ago my business failed and I've been stuck in debt and living week to week financially ever since then. I wanted a family that loves me and that was happy and healthy. Yes our family is happy, my wife and kids are great. But am I giving them the life I wanted to?? - no. They are becoming boring too because they are just living and growing up without experiencing new and interesting things.
So - what to do? I am obviously stuck in a rut - 42 years old and getting nowhere, not satisfied with what I am doing with this life. Time to change!!
What needs to change? I need to live a bit more. I need to do stuff. I need to take the kids out so they can have some life experiences. I need to get out of debt so we can do more, give more, live more and BE more. How to do that? That is the million dollar question.
Some small steps, I think I have already taken - without even realising it. I have arrived here and am trying to network, find new interests and follow interesting topics and people to broaden my horizons. Financially, I have been trying to get my foot in this Crypto door, trying to find a way to build an alternative income here and through mining coins. Without any funds to seriously invest, it feels more like a hobby than an income - but the potential is there. My wife and I have also quit smoking. That is one major step that has the potential to change our lives in a significant way.
What else do I need to do: Do better. All areas of my life, for a long time, I have settled for a "near enough is good enough" mentality. Procrastination and settling for second best have gotten me in this rut. I have become fairly anti-social and insular. This is not who I am. I am better than that. So I realise that I need to do more. Live bigger if you want to put it that way. Do stuff now instead of put it off till later. Stop settling for "good enough" and start pushing for excellent. Get out and live a little. Take my kids out and do stuff, instead of just letting them become as boring as I have become.
So this post has become a personal challenge - of sorts. I am putting out into this fine blockchain, where it can never be deleted from, a challenge to myself. The time is up for me being stuck in this rut. I have been here far too long, and it is time to get out. I know what steps I need to take to be happier, to be living the life I want instead of the life I am. It is time to take control of my own destiny, instead of letting my life drift away as it has been lately.
If you do happen to have read all the way through this post - please let me know. Often times it feels like I am just posting for the sake of posting something. I really am not sure if what I am putting up is really being read at all. You can't use the post payment and up votes as a guide - #teamaustralia is awesome at giving a post a small boost and I have been using bots to feel like I am getting something. How many actual real people read my posts - probably not many as they are probably not very interesting.
Anyway - I feel Iike I am rambling now , so I am just going to hit the "Post" button and put this thought process out to the world.
John.
When did you decide that you weren't good enough? There was a moment along the way that 'your perhaps' Turned to 'not today'. You were also presented with a gift directly from the sun but you judged your worth of wielding its' rays. My God my veins shake..jpg)
... small ...small...Minute:little moments of moments of moments collected and expelled :over and :over and :over again. You know what I read {a genius trapped in a mind}+ Fighting Clawing an internal cage. If everyone was meant to be Phenomenal.... Imagine... Truly imagine my friend. The glory of a Business Man whose noble enough to question with a heavy heart. Of hands who have done so much but not left art. You are napping and your dreams are awake. {{This is your shake}}
@takenaback your unique gift with words and style of writing is both fascinating and captivating. "A genius trapped in a mind" is definitely how I feel at times. It was quite surreal that a blog shareing my innermost thoughts, my constant internal conversations with myself, required the least amount of thought of any of my posts. It just happened. Please keep sharing your amazing writing with us here, and I will endevour to get "in the zone" where these posts happen.
Thank you very much! You have a gift as well... You made me feel. Writing is so much more than words. When we speak from our true selves... we show the world our potentiality... you showed me yours. Keep writing!! I look forward to seeing your future!!
I understand how it feels like. I lost a lot of money many years ago when I wanted to be in business as well. My old son, when he was just a few years old then, had to have a major operation resulting a debt in my finances as well.
Some suggestion about what you can write about. Sometimes your greatest failure is your future greatest success.
You can always write about your experience in your business and what others should avoid if they were to enter into business so that they do not suffer the same problem.
You can also write about how you pick yourself up and how you turn your energy to other areas like steemit to find future successes.
You can also take about things you would have done better or already doing well if you can turn back to redo again.
Cheers and push on for greater successes to come! If you are a Christian, trust God who has not finished his plan for you!
Hi @fun2learn. Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Your thoughtful and considered advice is greatly appreciated and I will take on board your suggestions for future posts.
Thank you so much to those that have replied to this post. Each of you have been so thoughtful and uplifting, and I appreciate it immensely. This post was the first time I have really put many of my thoughts out of my brain. It is most likely my longest post, but also the easiest one to write once I had started. I have learnt a lesson that there are people who are interested in what I have to say - when it is meaningful and unfiltered.
We raisedor kids on one income so I could stay at home at homeschool them. We had to get creative to keep from falling in that rut your talking about....but sometimes we feel in anyway! I found out about geocaching when my kids were fairly young Now that their grown, we still geocache together! It's free, and it's fun and it's all over the world. That would be a place to start, maybe. As you get out more, maybe have a mini-adventure or two, your mood might improve which seems to make things clearer, makes lots of things improve. Then you can post about geocaching with the family when you've got nothing else to post about! 😄 I'm following you now, and I'll be watching for those posts!
@powellx5, I have googled geocaching and it looks very interesting. I will look into it some more, thank you. My mood is generally not to bad, but I do definitely dwell on things too much and think too much about life instead of just living it. It is lovely to meet you and I will definitely watch out for your future posts.
Wow John, thats an excellent brutally honest article. I love it!
@bamboozled, brutally honest is definitely a good way of describing it. I gave myself quite a shock when I read it back, (I cannot remember ever being so publicly open about my thoughts) but instead of filtering it down, took a step into the unknown and put it out there. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it.
The first step is putting yourself out there and letting the world see you, I read the entire thing and your on the right track. Sometimes its the little things that make the difference and to start with the kids is golden. Find your peace and happiness thru them, take them out and see the world. So many beautiful things to see on this earth, get one with the nature. So many things to see, that we take our sight for granted, our hearing too for our surrounds. Hiking has helped me a lot on finding meaning. That's where I have also found peace. Also congrats on the Non smoking, I quit cold turkey 10+ years ago, don't even remember when, its been so long. Don't give up and all you can do from here is Strive for Greatness.......
As long as your being you and writing from your heart to mind, good people will come into your life and here on Steemit.....