We should tell people how amazing they are and how they had a positive impact in our lives while they can still hear our voices, see our smiles, feel our hugs and enjoy our presence
I woke up late yesterday, I did not get the chance to attend our morning meeting at 11:11am instead of dwelling on that... I opened my Facebook.
I saw a lot of Notifications, I was tagged on a post that a cousin passed away... I couldn't believe it...
It is true...
Back Story:
Last November 2016 I went to Phuket (one of the most expensive place in Asia), I had no money but I decided to do my VISA run there, because I know I have some relatives there. I will feel safer and I know I will have someone to contact if anything happens.
(VISA Run means going to a nearby country to avoid overstaying in another country, this is usually done when the working VISA is being processed)
I contacted my cousin and asked if I can stay for at least a day or 2. I did not want to cause any trouble so I booked some inexpensive place near Patong beach. I thought I would only stay in their house for a night and spend 2 nights in the Hostel and comeback to Malaysia. It turned out that my working VISA processing will be extended because of some holidays in Malaysia. My cousin insisted I come back to their house to avoid spending too much. I told him it is really ok. I would be alright. He had no idea that my money was not enough but I was too embarrassed to ask. I knew he was willing to help but I refused. He had recently just gotten married and I refused to be a burden to him and his wife. He was working for a Resort Hotel and he is earning enough for daily expenses and paying of some financial obligations.
He would check on me daily by contacting me and I knew that was more than enough help for me to feel safe.
He was working for a small hotel entertaining guests in Thailand who had no idea he used to be a drummer of a popular band in the Philippines (SKA genre -90's) . They were booked for TV guesting , concerts events and they would have endless roadshows and commitments to attend. It was probably why I never got the chance to be close to him. They were not as popular as the mainstream bands but they got to play along side Yano, Eraserheads, Rivermaya, SIakol, Orange and Lemons, Teeth, Wolfgang, Parokya ni Edgar and a whole lot more. If you are familiar with UP Fair or alternative bands back in the day (MTV Philippines) you might have heard of them
Looking back,
I remembered growing up and everyone in our family would talk about my cousin who was so good at playing drums that he would win competitions and he would do some front act drum exhibitions for bands who would visit his hometown Baguio (bands like Teeth, Rivermaya, Eraserheads in the 90s)
He grew up being part of the band named The Edralins which later became The Spaceflowers but for reasons I don't know he chose to leave the limelight and decided to live a simple life.
Here are some of their videos from YOUTUBE
NOW:
He is gone. I never had the chance to buy him the Calamansi or Cadbury Choclettes which I promised I would when I come back to Phuket. I read his last message and he was sending me some link which I did not respond to... I missed that message...
I wish I sent him a box of Calamansi or Choclettes while he was still alive but now it is too late...
I can only send my messages to his wife, to his mother, to his sister I wish I was able to tell him some nice words some belated greetings...
Merry Christmas... Happy New Year... Happy Birthday... Goodbye Kuya Buddha... Sorry di man lang ako nakabawi...
Sorry di man lang ako nakakumusta...
Sana lang nasabi ko man lang saiyo na Maraming maraming salamat sa naitulong mo sa akin :)
Hindi mo alam na nung nagpunta ako sa Phuket yung libre nyo lang sa akin ni Jheng ang masarap na pagkain na natikman ko kasi sobra akong nagtipid :)
- this wa sthe photo taken by his wife when I visited them in Phuket...
I saw some write ups and messages of some popular band members sending their condolences on his Facebook page.
I read Rappler write about him and some online news portal in Phuket.
https://www.rappler.com/entertainment/news/194545-ex-edralins-drummer-dies-motorcycle-crash
https://www.phuketgazette.net/news/filipino-thai-killed-karon-crash
I wish they kept in touch even if he was not in the music scene anymore.. I guess I will never know if they did
LIFE LESSON 1
We should tell people: Family/Friends how amazing they are NOW
Not later, not tomorrow, not when we remember, not when there are occasions,
We should tell them while there is still time some people say these words as part of a Eulogy:
I am Sorry
Thank you
I love you
We never know when any of our time ends but if we have said everything there is to say and shown appreciation to people we care about there is no regrets. I know my cousins wife have showered him with all the LOVE . He told me that his wife made him happy and feel loved every single day :)
Thank you for this Life Lesson Kuya BUDDHA
San ka man Rock on!
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STOPMy condolences to you on your lost of your beloved cousin. Yes it is not easy at times when life goes on and we hardly get to contact each other.
I too lost a close cousin who watched me growing up (and he just got married and we used to go out as family outings as I was the youngest among the cousins) , and when suddenly he had stage 4 lung cancer and it spread so quickly I only managed to talk to him 30 minutes in the hospital before his condition worsen the next day and his journey on this Earth ends.
Indeed we should try our very best to keep in touch with the people that are close to us, be it relatives / friends.
Keep writing. Will look forward to see your other posts in the future.
Stay strong and keep smiling! You have a great smile.
@littlenewthings I appreciate your reply and thank you for sharing your personal story, sending my condolences to your loved one. I was told that as kids we were super close, because we were the eldest but when we grew up, we did not have much chance to connect until recently. Thank you for the words of encouragement. I will definitely keep writing! Will try about every topic that comes my way :)