Momxiety - May the force be with me tomorrow. No wait. Today.

Momxiety

Laying in bed awake since Eve's last feed at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep because I've been hearing Flynn calling for Mummy from his room. Except when I went to check on him, he was sound asleep...
2am. 3am. 3:30am. Again and again my ears kept ringing and I kept going to his room to check on him because I thought I heard him wake up.

Or I would be going downstairs for a quick bite to eat after putting Eve to nap and would race back upstairs thinking that I heard her stir, when she hadn't. Or putting Flynn to sleep and texting Carlos asking if Eve is okay because I thought I heard her cry and he'd say no she's actually sleeping. And vice versa. Many times a day.

My brain doesn't shut off. I feel like I'm always on high alert. At any given moment I'd be thinking about 20 different things regarding the kid's well-being, their development, household stuff, work, things to be done, things I haven't done, mum's guit etc etc the list goes on. And it gets worse at night.

Now the kids are both gonna be up in a couple hours. For real this time. And I'm still wide awake listening to a certain somebody's endearing snoring next to me lol.

May the force be with me tomorrow. No wait. Today.