We want that thing, That promotion, That money, That closeness with our friends and family. All the sudden. We get exactly what we wanted. And we still aren't happy. All the sudden there is a new problem. We dream about the day we get to move onto the rest of our life, Where things are easy. Where everything has fallen into place. That moment when we can finally be happy.
Do We Even Know?
It's difficult to know what you want When you've never had it before. Some stuff is obvious, Many of us want to shelter and food to eat. And if we have that we can be somewhat happy. But some of the larger things, Like your career or lifestyle. We may think we want it, And it will be good for us, But it's easy to "get it" And realize it's not actually what we wanted after all.
The media we indulge in, And our peers help carve those things that we may "think" that we want.
Sometimes the reality is we don't even know. SO we live everyday fighting for that thing, When it may not even bring us the pleasure we think it will.
Short Term Happiness
Many things bring short term happiness. You get new clothes, And you may feel like it was the best day ever, But that can quickly fade. Every shirt you wear was once new, Was once exciting. Now you are used to it And don't care about it anymore. Most things seem to give us the little bursts of happiness. There is nothing wrong with that Unless of course, you rely on those extra boosts on a regular basis. Then we have problems.
Be Above Your Peers
Many of us feel better about ourselves when we are doing better than people in a similar workplace, A Similar age range. I'm guilty of this one. I often find myself comparing myself to other people at the same age. This often brings me down, Because even though we are the same age, It's an unfair comparison. Our life situations and opportunities dramatically vary from each other. There is no "fair" comparison. One of us could have had much better opportunities.
If you are feeling severely insecure about yourself. It's been proven that if you are surrounded by people who are not doing as well as you, you'll feel happier. This is not a good tactic for your growth though. It's often best to be the "dumbest" in the room, That way you can focus on constant growth.
Giving
GIving is a great happiness booster. It's funny that when you give with no expectations, You lose resources, Yet that feeling on your brain just feels so good. Because of you, Someone has food to eat Or clothing. Giving has been proven over and over again to make a person feel better about themselves.
Happiness Comes from Within
So many people spend a lifetime looking for happiness.
- Blaming others for their unhappiness.
- Working Hard to get that extra money for happiness.
Many people live miserable lives because they are never happy no matter what they have. Those people could receive a million dollars right now, And later on, they'd still be miserable. I have seen people go through unbearable situations. I'd expect them to be miserable.
But they aren't. They "find" something to be happy about every day. Are you wearing shoes? Do you have a meal? Be grateful! The only person/thing that can make you happy is YOU!
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Hey @kaylinart - Very good post and a profund topic, actually one of the most important topics. There are soooooo many different concepts and perspectives out there - from Sigmund Freud thesis, that there is no "real" happyness (see civilization and its discontents) or Epikur, Albert Camus and and and...
In terms of the short-term happyness I always have to think about our "fun-society" and how we are socialized to be consumers - I hope we can create a society which does support the opposite one day. What do you think?
Wow I love that!!
I love that you brought up that we are taught to be consumers because it's so true! I'm realizing that as I consume less I'm actually happier, Because I know I'm damaging the environment less, Saving money and not "Wasting" resources that could go to a much better cause.
thanks @kaylinart :-) you are so right!!
Do you know the book "having or being" - I highly and strongly recommend it in this context. It is so full of truth and Erich Fromm was really a great man.
Oh man, you and @krnel totally inspire me to write something in english. I just wish my english would be more sophisticated and I could express myself like I can in my mothertongue. BUT I will try it in the next two or three weeks - so thanks to you two :-D
Have a great day, blessings, Martin
Would we really appreciate happiness if it lasted forever and it never went away. without sadness would you even know what happiness was?
I do find as well that giving whole heartedly is what brings about the most pure happiness one
I've found myself struggling just to get through the work day lately as I'm terribly unhappy with my job due to poor management and huge structural changes in my dept. just six weeks ago I was promoted, got a 6% pay increase, and a $9k bonus and that fixed things for me for all of a week or so. But I'm still not happy. I need more time with my family and less work related stress.
Unfortunately I don't really have a short or mid term solution to this as I'm stuck in this job for a lot of complicated reasons I won't get into. I find happiness in the hour or so that I get to hang out with my wife at the end of the day and relax together. The rest of the day on weekdays consists of work and the many menial tasks that eat up 95% of my waking hours. Death by a thousand cuts.
I'm making long term plans to get out of my current situation but it seems so far off that every day seems like a struggle to even motivate myself to keep up with life. These are all First world problems for sure. I should be thankful for having a home and enough resources to survive. I try and keep it all in perspective but today I'm failing miserably as I have most days recently.
You're right that promotions and money won't fix everything. Money can buy things but it sure can't buy happiness.
happiness is always fleeting. It's a never ending cycle of ups and downs. It has to come from within.
RIght? It's so true!
@kaylinart well said I'm agreed with you!! For me happiness is Happiness is when my life fulfills my needs. Happiness comes when I feel satisfied and fulfilled. Happiness is a feeling of contentment, that life is just as it should be. Perfect happiness, enlightenment, comes when i have all of your needs satisfied.
Thank you!! It does doesn't it? Happiness is a weird feeling for sure!
Help others and you will be happy. Dont be jealous about others success.
Exactly! Give what you can! And don't hate someone for doing well
This is so true. I often compare myself to others and then beat myself up, but your right this is an unfair measurement. I've learned that most happiness comes from chasing what you want and not the actual achievement of getting it. So now i just enjoy the journey. Great post
hy @kaylinart you is beautiful girl, follow,upvote and resteem for you
greeting....and nice post
Thank you
Your'e welcome @kaylinart
Happiness is when people upvote my post and i get rewarded in Steem! :P
OMG XD
Glad to know that my comment made the author laugh and btw this was something interesting to read. GoodDay!
happiness is reaching 73+ reputation. jk lol
Right? LOL! I get so excited everytime the number goes up!
Resteemed and 100% upvoted. Thank you for using my service!
Read here how the new green bot from Berlin works.
@resteem.bot
good post !! Keep going @kaylinart❤❤❤
THank you :)
Its all about giving others what you can.
Exactly
Oh and upvoted and followed - Good post!
Thank you :)
Such a good and helpful post! I've been suffering from depression and now I really understand what happiness is. You're all right, the only one that can make you happy is yourself!
There's an established science to happiness that has identified three types of happiness:
Edonic
Eudaimonic
Chaironic
The first is associated to gadgets like new phone, pc, car.....maybe even new partners in some cases :-)....this kind of happiness lasts no longer than a few months.
Eudaimonic comes from a state of overall satisfaction with oneself. it's built over time and difficult to shake. it's like an average awareness of who one is regardless of events exterior to yourself.
Chairmonic is total "enlightenment".......possibly reserved to a very privileged few in this world.
....most of the time I'm stuck with the first one in the list!
That's happiness!
- Dontview
Thanks for the article, sometimes we value little what really affects us. Good attitudes have always served as a reference for my life. I emphasize the good article, and the text values and also identifies my mistakes as a person.
I agree, happiness comes from inside. We can be happy and satsfield without expansive things. A lot of people wish some magic gives them happiness, like four-leaf clover. Everybody tell me I will be very happy person because of my hobby :) https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@misswatermelon/my-collection-of-a-hundred-four-leaf-clovers
I find myself happy, but all came from me. :)
@kaylinart . This is an endless topic to discuss. Happiness is different for different person. If you are doing anything and you feel satisfied that is happiness. For someone love can be happiness and for someone hate can be a happiness. It also depend on the instance in which you are getting what kind of happiness.
Happiness must be felt from inside! It is a choice we must choose for ourselves to be in peace ultimately :) again a great write up @keylinart!
Wow... You touched every spectrum of happiness. Can it be distinguished with peace?
Love the post - Great content - Great Pictures and the perfect outlook on life!! ENJOY it!
Nice Article! In my opinion Happiness linked with wealth,If you have no money in your pocket everything looks worst.
Very good post, i also think that when people are not happy, its because there are a lot of small irritating things that they all put up with because they feel that they have to and they think its just another problem so what, kinda like thinking when it rains im already wet so what does it matter if i get soaked even more, as i am typing this im sat itching my arm from the overgrown
prickly bushes that i ride past on my bike on the way home, and i did the same yesterday, so tomorrow i will take with me a pair of scissors and stop for a minute to cut the overhanging ones back and that will be one less thing to be unhappy about :)
Ser feliz en las pequeñas cosas y con eso tu vida entera estara completa
This deserves some attention. Upvoted and resteemed :]
There are many things that takes our spirits away in life then enlift it, however I truly like the end to ur article the only one who can make yourself happy is u, that is so true .
great post, and so glad i follow you. I work as a charisma coach and find much inspiration in your work. Thank you for taking the time to write such a great post
Great reminder that practicing gratitude is the antidote to unhappiness!
wow @kaylinart
Great post @kaylinart! I always keep thinking about that old truism: "The best things in life are not THINGS!"
I think that's very true, and people spend a lifetime pursuing happiness through an assortment of external factors that seldom have any real impact on their happiness. Happiness can be right here, right NOW, if you choose it. But as long as you are still "looking for it," clearly you don't actually HAVE it.
happiness is the little things that gives us joy, watching the sun rise, getting awesome grades, helping people in need, enjoying company of good friends, having children, buying a house. Those beautiuful things we work hard to get. Even though that joyful feeling last for seconds or minutes, it is still worth it and unforgettable. We need to be in peace with ourselves in order to feel happy more often. Great note, Cheers!
Most of the time, we base our happiness on other people's happiness. Happiness that is created by other people's belief. We see that they do something and they're happy about it so we just do the same. We must realize that every individual has it's own happiness based on his and her passion. Often times, we get trapped in other people's idea and we get bombarded of the things they want us to do. Especially those people who are in the process of growing up. We were told to study, get a job, find a carreer, save and marry. I'm not saying that's wrong; however, that doesn't apply to everyone of us. We must move towards something that will make us feel happy no matter what happen. Happiness must be found within before it shows without.
Thanks for posting. .. many need these messages.
Happiness is the root of joyfulness....I have follow you, please do the same to my post likewise.
Thank you @kaylinart - I need to be a happier person and less frustrated, hoping for the best as always!
Keeping tha Steemit
♥¸.•°”˜˜”°•.✫ B★E★A★U★T★I★F★U★L ✫¸.•°”˜˜”°•.♥
The happiness in my opinion is to realize what you are missing in the life.
@creativewoman
Hi Kaylinart. This is a really important thing to be talking about. Thank you for bringing it into the Steemit sphere. I think you will really appreciate this podcast which interviews Tibetan Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard. He explains how our definition of happiness sets us up for suffering, and that simply with a different way of understanding happiness, all of life can be ours to enjoy. Here's a link. I look forward to more from you! https://onbeing.org/programs/matthieu-ricard-happiness-as-human-flourishing-jul2017/
Very True! Happiness is what you make it! We all can choose to be happy. Do what makes you happy!
awesome post! I agree... I find the most happiness when I help others.
It is easy to compare especially with Social Media these days... but I agree that is unhealthy and it's not like comparing apples to apples!
Hey, I like Your posts :)
For me it tooks years to find the path of hapineess for myself. This is not something which can be taught. You have to try and try and try. Give yourself the time and invest in yourself.
Good post on this difficult topic.
Makes me calm when read your so very very wise words ......
Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people.
Hey @kaylinart - I am selling happiness with a great proud after reading this content, Brought about with new ideas.
Sharing is caring.
Stay sweet Stay Happy
Thank you :)
Oh, I liked this article sometimes we do not know if happiness is ours and we supposedly went out to look for it , Follow me @karchady I am from Venezuela.
great ! I like your Posting , It's vary nice
I love your outlook.I guess I need a little work on mine!